Sunday, March 27, 2011

Sunday Surf- 03/37/2011

This week was a little less stressful than last and I even remembered to bookmark a few really good blogs, YEAH ME!

To kick things off I read a great blog by Purejoy Parenting called If Only I Was Perfect, all about throwing out the ideal of the perfect mom and just being the mom you are meant to be.  I love it and sometimes I need a daily reminder of this!

Next up is a blog by Nature Moms Blog about Helping Kids See Past Commercialism, something that is always on my mind with 4 kids.  I do not want my kids to grow up with a sense of entitlement as if they deserve everything handed to them on a platinum platter encrusted with diamonds and other rare jewels a minimum of 10 minutes before they even ask for it.  I can see the power of marketing hitting them already, those commercials are pretty darn clever and convince my kids they need the silliest things from pillow pets to live caterpillars that turn into butterflies "before your very eyes". 
I was very embarrassed last weekend at Little Man's birthday party, many bought him clothes and he just threw the clothes aside like trash as he kept digging for toys.  It upset me 1- because I didn't want him to look ungrateful and 2- because I know he likes clothes.  Later that day, after everyone had left and he had played with all of his toys, he became excited about the clothes wanting to try them all on and wear a pair of PJs to bed that night even though I had not washed anything yet.
I also don't want my kids to become wrapped up in consumerism because honestly, we can't afford it.  We can't afford the latest and greatest anything.  Things are out for years before we get them!  Movies have to wait for DVD release and RedBox rental to be seen.  Most clothes are bought off season and rarely new.  Halloween costumes are often purchased a year in advance, when they are clearenced out.  With 4 kids we will never be able to afford to buy them the $150 sneakers and $100 a pair jeans, not that we would want to anyways.  It will just be easier for us to make sure our kids never value these things in the first place, so we won't have to listen to the whining that comes along with wanting them and not being able to afford them.
The upside to being "monetarily challenged" (because we don't like the word "poor" around here) is that you pretty much guarantee your kids will not grow up to be selfish entitled _________ you fill in the blank.

Someone posted a great piece on RocketMoms called Spanking is NOT an Effective Parenting Tool, and coming from a mom who used to spank before trying to find more peaceful and gentle ways to discipline this is a great post.  I never thought about the double standard I may be portraying when I would smack my child's hand or tush after they hit one of their siblings or another kid.  DUH!  Don't hit people if you don't want to teach them to hit others!
"Spanking teaches children that violence is the solution to problems. It also teaches children that it is okay to use physical violence to control other people and situations. Spanking teaches kids that it is okay to hit the people you love."
Quoted from the article.
These are not messages that I want to send to my kids.  There is also a lot less hitting, pushing, shoving, biting, etc going on in our home these days.
I do still hear the words "Do you want me to spank your butt" or "stop that or I will spank you" vomiting from my mouth when I am extremely frustrated.  I need to erase these words from my vocabulary!  I never follow through so they are empty threats that the kids ignore anyways.  I guess they make me feel better somehow and control the urge I occasionally get to actually spank.  Perhaps I am reminding myself that I don't want to do that when I say these things??  Either way I need to stop!

I really enjoyed reading Attachment Parenting Series: Beware of baby trainers by The Hippie Housewife.  I have never been a baby trainer and always shunned all schedules.  Whenever I go to the doctor I can never tell them how often I nurse my baby which frustrates the doctors.  I always answer "on demand" and they keep pushing and pushing until I just make up a number because they need a nice handy dandy number to put into their computer charts, "on demand" just doesn't cut it for them.  I also refuse to do any form of CIO and get told all too often that I hold my babies "too much".  I know all too well how quickly they grow and looking back feel I didn't hold Little Man or Smunchkin nearly enough! (and I held them all the time, even wore them, I just miss it and would love to go back to that time!).

I am usually not a fan of Cafe Mom (a lot mommy bullying goes on in that location!) or anything posted on The Stir (always seems to be something posted for the pure intentions of starting a fight/debate) but let myself get wrapped into the post about how Most Think Breastfeeding Moms Are Stupid .  I planned on writing my own blog about how wrong that is.  I sadly have been told that by many people from complete strangers to my own family members.  I have been told things like "Only poor people have to breastfeed" or "Only uneducated people breastfeed" because "clearly" if you are educated and have money you would choose formula.  Not bashing formula moms,  I have been both, just saying I didn't appreciate being bashed for my choices.  So I enjoyed the blog that was posted in response called If Breastfeeders Are Stupid, So Is Michelle Obama .  This post did such a great job expressing what I wanted to say I scraped the blog I wanted to write.  I love how she also placed importance on being a mom in general.  I often classify myself in the "I'm JUST  a  mom" or worse "I'm JUST a stay at home mom" as if that's an even lower subspecies of "moms"
And, as she put it in the post, in case you are not a Democrat or fan of the Obamas, Sarah Palin breastfeeds too haha.

I will end with a post from Code Name: Mama that's fun and controversy free (as I am sure most of the above blogs will fire up feelings of those on either side, please just do not use my page as the place to fight it out.  I respect all parents as long as the things they do come from a loving place and are not abusive to the child).
Healthy and Homemade Easter and Ostara Basket Ideas (with Tutorial Links)
I clicked on and read this blog for 3 reasons. 1- Because I would love some healthy ideas for our Easter Baskets this year (sad I am not even sure WHEN Easter is, SHEESH!). 2-Because I love Code Name: Mama and 3-I was not sure what Ostara Baskets were haha.  It never did tell me what Ostara baskets were, I had to google it!
It has some great ideas.  Growing up my mom always reused the same baskets for us every year.  I started out buying cute character baskets but found they broke easily so now we use baskets from around the house that are used to sort toys/books in.  I do use the yucky plastic grass but reuse the same stuff every year.  This year I may try fabric instead.  I also reuse the same plastic eggs each year.  I like to give my kids some candy/chocolate but want to include some healthier options too.

I hope you enjoy all of the above blogs, happy surfing.

Love,
Christy

4 comments:

  1. lol I didn't think about defining Ostara ;) Thank you for sharing my link!

    I'm not a huge fan of CafeMom either - it does seem like there is a lot of unnecessary snark and bullying, but I do like Christie Haskell's articles - hopefully she is changing hearts and minds.

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  2. Glad you enjoyed my post at Purejoy! My, my trying to be perfect instead of seeing everything as already perfect has been one of my greatest teachings. Whew! I can still fall back into my idea of how I want things to be, but it bites me every time!

    Leslie

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  3. We quit spanking cold turkey (my efforts at cutting back weren't working)and it took me several months to stop myself from giving the occasional instinctive smack, and over 6 months to stop threatening spankings. It took me over a year to feel as though I had figured out what to do instead of spank, and almost 2 years to be confident that I was doing the right thing!
    Good for you!

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  4. I've been struggling with our disciplining method lately. As soon as I finish here I'm off to read the blog about spanking! I have four kids, mine are ages 3-8 so not quite as close as yours, though my oldest three are within 2 1/2 years! Great blog and I will be back!

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