This will be another toughy for me to write and I have a sneaking suspicion I will loose some followers over it and I am ok with that. I promised myself when I started blogging I would be nothing less than my true authentic self. I never wanted to build up a facade of something I am not. With that honesty in mind I have felt compelled to write this blog for weeks now.
The blogosphere has been buzzing with beautiful posts such as SDL I am a Christian, unless you're gay, To the old man at the store by The Path Less Taken, a few recent episodes of Glee and of course the powerful YouTube video by Jonah.Mowry
Just today I read Teaching Acceptance on BlogHer and it gave me the final drops of courage to write this. I am not as fantastic as the writers who inspired me but I will do my best.
I am a Mormon and I embrace those who are gay!
Yes, I said it, I accept them for who they are, do not look down on them and shun the idea that they are sinners because of it.
Ok, are you still there? I feel many rolling their eyes and closing the screen right now.
I have always been accepting of gay people, I have not always been a Mormon. Those things clashed for awhile and I sort of had this internal war within myself. To say that The Mormon Church and those who are gay often clash would be an understatement (hello prop 8!) While I believed with all my heart and soul that the church was true I had (and still have) difficulty with their stance on gay people.
Honestly it was something I had struggled with since I began my journey towards knowing my savior Jesus Christ. It was not exclusive to the Mormon church but a theme that kept appearing in every church I attended I could never understand why churches would preach acceptance and tolerance and then add a "But" at the end to exclude people.
Is this what Christ taught? Are we all reading the same book here? When I read about Christ I read about a man who accepted and loved everyone, there was no contingency at the end of that. In fact, if Jesus were to come back to Earth today the people He likely would hang out with are those who are gay, and anyone else persecuted or looked down upon. That's what He did the first time He was here. Jesus was very unpopular in His day for hanging out with the "unlovable" the "sinners" everyone else shunned.
NO! Jesus would not be down with all the hating we have in our world., I believe this in my heart to be true.
Now, once I was baptized I just tried to avoid all talk on this subject until one day I discussed it with a friend in the church (who I will keep anonymous to protect her brother) who informed me about her brothers feelings that he may be gay. I do not even remember how we got onto the subject but the longer we talked the more I realized I was not alone in my feelings. Here was another person, also a Mormon, telling me she did not agree with many in the church and felt it was not our place to judge others.
She and I both agreed on a few things:
1- That Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father are perfect, mankind is not. Meaning men can (and DO) make mistakes, especially when tasked with the job of interpreting the Word of God. I believe that the Bible was given to us by God, I also believe that men throughout history may have made mistakes translating it, some may have even purposely distorted it for their own gain.
Many in the Mormon church use this as an explanation for the plural marriage scandal of the churches early years. I have been told by more than 1 member that they personally-this is in NO WAY the churches official view-feel it was a misinterpretation of a message from the Lord and was meant more as a way to take care of so many women being left widowed with no way to care for themselves. Mormons were mercilessly persecuted in the first 30 + years after the church was formed. Because of this many men (and women and children) were killed, leaving behind wives with small children unable to make a living since back then very few women worked any sort of job that earned an actual wage.
I have seen it proposed in many places that the one Bible verse so many love to quote to show that being gay is a sin was actually mistranslated and instead of reading " A man shall not lay with a man" it should in fact read "A man shall not lay with a boy/child" because in Hebrew the word used for "man" and "boy" are very similar.
Now, I am not a scholarly person when it comes to The Scriptures, I do not know a lot of Theology and do not wish to argue with anyone on this subject. Heavenly Father gave us all free will and with that comes the right to believe and do whatever you like. All I am trying to say is perhaps PERHAPS those tasked with the difficult job of translation got it wrong.
2- Once again, as I previously stated, Christ loved EVERYONE without exception and He ordered all those who claim to follow Him to do the same.
3-Heavenly Father created each and every one of us and He does not make mistakes (see above). Now this requires the belief that being gay is something you are born as and not a choice but seriously if it was a "choice' who would actually choose a life filled with so much pain because so many feel it's ok to look down upon/bully them. No, I don't believe for a second it is a choice. Therefore I must conclude that Heavenly Father knew what He was doing.
Now, through this admission I am sure I will (sadly) loose some real life friends as well, although I sincerely hope it does not come to that. I just cannot remain silent about it anymore. While I have yet to encounter anyone in my ward (local church for those not Mormon) who openly say hateful things about gay people I know it is implied.
I speak out for all of those who also consider themselves Mormons that do not feel that gay people are second class citizens living in sin who should be looked down upon or pitied.
I am not God, I do not speak with God therefore I do not presume to say how God feels on this or any matter. I do feel like I have a personal relationship with Jesus and through him with God. This relationship has been fostered through reading the Scriptures and personal prayer. The God I know and love does not appear, to me, to share the feelings of so many who claim to follow him do. The God I know and love sent His only son to die for us ALL. The God I know and love commanded us to love one another as we love Him. I don't know about you but I would never say hurtful or insulting things to God, therefore I refuse to say these things to any of His children. It's hard to wrap my mind around at times for sure because yes once again that includes EVERYONE, even those who find joy in harming others. This is one hurdle I am not sure I will ever get over, but I try.
I prayed long and hard and contemplated on this blog for weeks. In the end I felt it was important to let it be known that not all Mormon's feel being gay is somehow "wrong".
So, assuming I am still allowed to stay in the church after this admission I will say it again:
I am a Mormon and I embrace those who are gay!
And I know I am not alone in this. I know there are others in not only the Mormon church but all other Christian/Religious faiths who feel the same way. We need to stand up and let everyone know that religion does not equal discrimination or oppression.
Also, I doubt they would seriously kick me out of the church for admitting this, but you know what, I have honestly not been a member of the church that long........
Now, I just hope my bloggy skin is thick enough to endure the hateful comments I am sure will pour in from this. I reserve the right to delete any comment that is just too hateful and I will exercise it.
Love,
this proud Mormon mama who accepts everyone,
Christy
P.S. I must admit I have always been too much of a coward to look into the churches official stance on gay people other than what I already knew about the issue of marriage. I just didn't want to know the official view I guess because that would make it worse for me if it was negative. Upon reading this blog a fiend posted the following links for me:
Gay Mormon named to key local LDS leadership post in San Francisco
Mormon church issues statement in support of gay-rights ordinances
Still not 100% sure how I feel about this but it's a start right. At least I know I am not alone in how I feel when it comes to loving and accepting those who are gay.
I just want to give youa big kudos for standing up and saying what you believe! <3 I wish more people were like you!
ReplyDeleteI was nervous to read this post. I am and always have been extremely supportive of gay rights. I'be really enjoyed reading your blog and since this is a deal breaker for me was very much relieved to see a supportive, non hateful post.
ReplyDeleteKudos to you!!
You rocked my socks!
ReplyDeleteyou are amazing! i can't believe even for a second that you just might say hurtful judgemental things about a certain group. i should have known better! i know you don't know me, and why should you care what i say. but i think you would benefit so much from reading neale donald walsch's books any of them but i would suggest starting out with conversations with god book 1 and just like you asked us to just read this blog, do the same with this book, just read it, the whole thing, and then make a decision about what you read. good luck! hope u read it!
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure how to say this without it coming across as "hateful"... but I've been LDS my whole life and I've never heard a hateful comment about a homosexual person from an LDS person. So in some respects I'm wanting to defend my people and my faith. In a lot of ways, I agree with you. I accept and love my gay friends and family- but I know the church is true and therefore I know the prophet is called of God- and with that knowledge comes that acting on homosexual feelings is a moral sin. (Is that considered "hateful" in your book?)
ReplyDeleteI think a lot of your logic is skewed, just because God made us doesn't mean that we all don't have our own challenges and afflictions we deal with every day.
I want to thank the first 3 responders for their awesome comments. WhisperDeCorvo I worried that putting the words "Mormon" and "gay" together would make many assume this would be a negative blog towards gays but I did it anyways because it captured what I was trying to say.
ReplyDeleteHeidi, I have heard very hateful comments from members of the church, or at least people claiming to be members 99% of these comments I have read online because sadly people feel more "free" to say whatever they please no matter who it hurts online.
I am a convert to the church and as such I still do not fully 100% understand all of the teachings of the church so I go only off what I know and what I believe. Perhaps my logic is "skewed" because I have been an outsider before joining the church, I don't know. All I do know is there are plenty of people in ALL religions who feel very negatively towards gay people and believe they are told to do this because of the Bible, I reject that!
And what is the Mormon church's 'stance on gay people?' It is true as you said that homosexuals and church members often clash, but is there an official stance on gay people? As far as I know, the only thing preached is that practicing homosexuality is a sin violating the law of chastity, and anyone engaged in any sort of violation of the law of chastity is usually (depends on circumstances I think) asked to refrain from certain things like holding office or certain offices in the church, taking the sacrament for a certain period of time, attending the temple, etc. This is not unique for homosexual individuals, but for anyone violating these principles. That being said, I also believe that there are people in the church, not all, that maybe don't understand homosexuality and don't follow what you said in point number 2. But again, this shouldn't be unique to homosexuals! We should love everyone regardless of which sins they commit, regardless of what they are. After all, we are all sinners, and are not supposed to unrighteously judge others. I also am a Mormon, I do not feel that gay people are second class citizens, but I do believe some are living in sin! However, just because they are doesn't mean I look down upon them or pity them. Its just what it is. We know through modern revelation as well as scriptural sources that homosexuality is a sin. In that sense, it is wrong. There is just no two ways about it. That does not mean we hate or oppress them, but we do not have to be encouraging of it, and we do not have to condone it. We are just supposed to do the best WE can, and love. That is all. The saddest thing I have seen is a mother and father disowning their son when he came out to them because…well I don't know their reasons, but I see no reason for their actions. Their job is to love him! Anyway, I'll get off my soap box, but I just wanted to put in my two cents that Mormons like me can believe that homosexuality is indeed wrong, but that does not give us a reason to be mean and hateful.
ReplyDeleteI love your blog! I agree with Christy's comments. There was one thing that bothered me in the 2nd link about people being arrested on temple square and the way it was presented. If you are doing things that have been specifically posted as being unwelcome in that area...i.e. - too much public affection (I've kissed my hubby without problem), smoking, or picketing, then they will escort you off the property. BTW- Temple Square and the adjoining area with the fountain was purchased by the LDS church and is therefore private property that the public has access to.
ReplyDeleteOther than that, I have wonderful friends whom I've agreed with on many subjects besides the way they are living their life now and hope to keep their friendship, even if we do disagree on what is sin.
Read the Proclamation to the World on the Family. Nothing more needs to be said. It is given to us through a Prophet of God. Marriage is only between a Man and a Woman. That is God's plan for us. I have gay friends who I really like, but I cannot condone what they do just like I cannot condone any sin of Morality. I cannot support them in obtaining the right to marriage. Acting on homosexuality is the sin. Everyone is commanded to be Virtueous , of good Report, and keeping ourselves morally clean. Homosexuals are not the only ones under this commandment. They should not expect special exception. The Lord has told us repeatedly that no Unclean person can enter his Kingdom. Do you think the Lord doesn't mean it. He has told us that even in the Book of Mormon, and we accept the Book of Mormon as the Word of God.
ReplyDeleteAs a "gay" man who has chosen to live within the church.. I thank you for your kind post.
ReplyDeleteThere are a lot of LDS folks who feel as you do, but they're not that visible. For a gay-friendly perspective from a faithful LDS person, you might want to check out Carol Lynn Pearson's excellent book, No More Goodbyes: Circling the Wagons around Our Gay Loved Ones.
ReplyDeleteGood luck to you!
Thank you so much for this amazing blog. A friend posted the link on facebook so I came on over to read it. I grew up LDS in a very small neighborhood where everyone was a member and the same kids that were with my in nursery were the ones standing next to me at graduation. Difference was they all had two parent homes, and I was the child with a single mother who lived in a trailer. So already I was different. But then at 22 I realized I was gay.
ReplyDeleteFour years have gone by and I still cannot make myself come out. At first I tried to deny that I was, tried to ignore it and "be straight." But then I met a good friend over the internet who spent many late nights talking to me and come to accept myself.
Now I'm happy about who I am, I'm proud of WHO I am. And I still can't make myself tell my mother, her side of the family, or those I grew up with. I don't want people to reject me or hate me for being who I am.
You're point number 3 was my favorite, discussing how it isn't a choice because that is exactly how I feel about the subject. If it was a choice no one would choose it, why would they choose to be hated? Rejected? Persecuted? And if it was a choice I'd still be straight.
But I'm not, and I'm ok with that. I just wish the rest of the world would get there.
@Jaywriter, your comment made me tear up. I am so happy that my blog touched you. It's amazing in fact and made it all so worthwhile. Your 1 comment will outweigh 1000 negative comments, thank you so much for that.
ReplyDelete@"Lucky Jake", thank you for your kind words as well ♥
One of the main reasons why I reject most religions views on being gay is because I am a mother and I REFUSE to ever in any way disown my children or make them feel as if they are less than in my eyes. They are perfect to me and always will be, I have to imagine that's how Heavenly Father see's us as well.
You are Amazing ... I am so GRATEFUL you share this with me ... My heart and feelings hear and Cheer u 100% ... I am newer to the church and this has been a big one for me ... The love and support of gays...and all of humanity...Why ...Becuase I belive in Jesus and his message , gospel and principals ... U nailed it Sista with all u said ..I could go on and on...but Just know I am so grateful for ur wisdom,compassion and love...and I belive heavenly father does also :))))))
ReplyDeleteI don't know you at all, but I think you are right in the loving people for who they are. The Savior excludes no one with his love, however we exclude ourselves from his presence by our sins. I think you tread in dangerous ground here. Being gay is NOT a sin. The sin is giving in to the sexual act. Most Mormons don't understand that fact. And since homosexuality has never been allowed in the eyes of the Lord why would you think that all of a sudden it would be ok? I love all my friends no matter their sexual orientation, but will I placate them and myself in thinking they are going to be allowed to pass through the gates because humanity sees things differently, NO. Part of our "agreement" in this world is to multiply and replenish. The plain and simple truth is, if you are gay and acting on those feelings you are not living to your full potential as a child of God. It is a deviation from his plan, just as theft, fornication, violence, and hate. We can make up our own plan but it is not going to get us in his presence.
ReplyDeleteFollow the Prophet, follow the prophet he knows the way.
For me and my house we serve the Lord.