Popcorn Brain

AH!  I have at least 4 blogs bouncing around in my head right now, not to mention 3 that are in various stages of being written on the blog itself.  This morning I really wanted to write a blog about the restaurants banning kids under age 6 and how America (and the world) seem to treat kids like second class citizens to go along with my blogs Crying Babies Will Be Charged Extra and Sisterhood of The Crying Mommies. 

At the same time I really wanted to blog about an awesome documentary I watched the other night on Netflix about the intelligence of dogs and their relationships with humans  There was an interesting connection they made about breastfeeding a baby and petting a dog and the similarities that occur in the brain (for both the human and the dog) that I really wanted to focus on.

Then there was the blog idea swirling around in my head last night about the Epic FAIL parenting lines we all find ourselves using- think lines like "Don't make me come over there!"

All of these lead me to decide to finally write the blog post I have wanted to write for over a week now about Popcorn Brain, because obviously I have a serious case of Popcorn Brain going on right now so it was fitting.

What?  Never heard of Popcorn Brain?  Neither had I.  Once I heard of it though I knew that not only do I suffer from it but I am passing it on to my kids.

So what is Popcorn Brain?
Popcorn Brain is a real condition that plagues most Americans (and many in the world).  In a word it just means Overload.  We are overloaded with technology in our society and a new study form China shows that this overload, mainly from Internet and Smart phone usage, causes what has been termed as Popcorn Brain.

David Levy, a  professor with the Information School at the University of Washington,  was quoted as saying "It’s (Popcorn Brain) defined as 'a brain so accustomed to the constant stimulation of electronic multitasking that we’re unfit for life offline, where things pop at a much slower pace.'"

Too many in America are literally addicted to the constant stimulation that online activity gives, I am no exception.  You most likely have Popcorn Brain if any of the following apply to you:
- You know you should clean the house but the computer/smart phone seems to literally beckon you to come sit and play.
-You feel the urge, a need, a MUST to check your e-mail/facebook page/twitter acct constantly (dang easy smart phones, I check FB ever hour on it!  not to mention the handy dandy updates it sends me whenever anyone does anything on my page).
- You have multiple electronic devices going on in your house at the same time.  On any given day I will have the TV going (mostly as background noise), the computer on and my phone in my hand.  I have been known to be on the computer doing 1 thing (like blogging) and on my phone doing another (FB updates most likely).

To quote an article on CNN...
"This is your brain on technology"
-Does life online give you 'popcorn brain'?
"The human brain is wired to crave the instant gratification, fast pace, and unpredictability of technology"
The article above talks about the study in China which determined that over use of Internet/Smart Phones can actually  "activate dopamine cells in the nucleus accumbens, a main pleasure center of the brain."  The study also showed that, overtime, those who abuse Internet usage actually have less grey matter, the thinking part of the brain.

It's literally like a drug, several other recent studies have also shown that computer/smart phone usage, as well as watching TV, stimulate the pleasure area of the brain.   These are the same areas stimulated by many addictive drugs.

Have you ever told yourself  "Today I am not going to get on the computer/smart phone!"?  What usually happens shortly after that proclamation?  For me I actually start to feel anxious, like I just NEED to do it.  I can't help it.  It's like going on a diet, as soon as I tell myself I can't have a certain food I really want it. 

I didn't used to be this bad.  When we just had a computer I would get on once or twice a day, check my emails and FB (or Myspace, remember Myspace?!) and then get off.  That was it.  Enter iPhone and it was all over for me!

It was really fun at first, the constant access that the iPhone gave me but it didn't take long for me to realize it was also consuming me.  I told myself it was ok though, everyone else was doing it.  It has only been in the last few weeks that I finally admitted to myself that maybe, possibly I have a "slight" (HUGE!) iPhone addiction. 


What changed?
I realized my iPhone addiction was hurting all efforts towards gentler parenting.  SERIOUSLY!  Again, it's like a drug, your brain acts just as it would if you were on drugs. Like anyone else on drugs when someone, even your own child, comes between you and your drug usage you lash out.

So, this Popcorn Brain that seemed so silly and almost humorous when I first learned about it suddenly took on a new meaning to me in the last few days.  I put two and two together and it was like a fog lifted and I could see things clearly.  Every single time I failed, every single time I let myself go there, loose it with the kids, yell, scream and threaten I had the phone in my hand.  Or, in the least I was sitting at the computer.

My brain was on overload and I was checked out of life.  As I looked back I could see clearly why such small simple things that should not bother me at all would irritate the crap out of me.  Like when the kids run around playing, screaming and laughing loudly.  Sadly I would allow myself to get all worked up and yell at them to stop. 

Anytime the kids would ask for even simple things I would lash out, act as if they were so rude and demanding of me.  It was because I was preoccupied, I was "busy" as I told them.  Busy on the phone doing what?  I don't even know.  I can't even tell you WHAT it is I do most of the time. 

They would ask for things and I would yell back that I would "do it in a minute, I am almost done" Sometimes "almost done" would easily stretch 30 minutes or more.  Kids, who have even less patience than me, cannot wait 30 minutes for anything. Obviously they would come back and ask for whatever it was they wanted several times and each time I would yell even louder setting us up for failure day after day after day.

I excused it away as my "adult time".  I told myself (and anyone else who would listen) that I needed adult interaction and this was my outlet.  I am stuck in the house with four kids age 5 and under after all.

Yes, if used properly, it is a great outlet to vent on occasion and help myself feel sane but I was abusing it.  I was treating it just like a drug, my iPhone was my own personal addiction.

I have serious family history of addictions.  Growing up every single adult member of my family on both sides had an addiction to something whether it was "minor" addictions to cigarettes or more major things such as alcohol, prescription drugs and basically every illegal drug you could fathom.  This is not an exaggeration, I honestly wish it was.  It was because of this that I never even allowed myself to try any sort of drug, EVER!  I have never put any sort of addictive drug (legal or illegal) in my body and have a serious fear of using even over the counter pain medication because I do not want to become addicted.  I knew I had a predisposition to addiction and I guess mine has manifested in the form of the iPhone/technology addiction.

I also get this way with books, I have not read a book (except kiddie books to my kids) since Kimmy was born because they consume me.  I get so into them that I close out the world around me.  I don't eat, sleep, shower, nothing.   I just read and read and read until I am done.  Is there a such thing as reading addiction? 


Passing it on to my kids!
I know I am passing this addiction on to my kids because they all, even Sariah, are obsessed with my phone.  I have some kid friendly/educational games on the phone that I let them play and they are obsessed.  They fight over it, refuse to take turns and flip out when I take the phone from them.

Not only that but they are also addicted to TV, something I was as a kid (hence my need to have it constantly on all time as background noise).  Excessive TV watching was one of the things I swore I would never let my kids do (I was one of those "perfect parents" before I had kids).  Recently I have been trying to turn the TV off more during the day, something made easier now that we no longer have cable but I can see the the addiction is already there.  Even Karma will say things like "oh no, TB broken" when the TV is simply turned off.  When Teddy wakes up before me, the first thing he does is turn the TV on.  They assume if it is turned off there must be something wrong with it.  The very first day that I turned it off just because Teddy asked me if the power was out.

What can you do?
In the last few days I have set a time limit for myself.  I get 2 hours a day of Internet time.  Once I hit the 2 hours that's it, I am done.  So on days like today, when I am blogging, I pretty much use up all of my time in the morning. 

I have also set times to check my phone for emails/FB updates.  I allow myself to check it in the morning when I first get up.  At 2pm when we have quiet time and at 8pm when the kids have gone to bed.  I basically try to limit it to when the kids are sleeping now.  I have been doing this for a few days now and it works out really well.  I don't find myself walking around so anxious with a constant need to check my phone every 30-60 minutes.  There has also been a lot less yelling, tantrums and meltdowns in the house from everyone, myself included. 

Lastly, I have decided to declare 1 day a week Internet/phone free day. I chose Sunday because I do not get on as much on Sundays as I do other days anyways.  So that means no more Sunday Surf/Sunday's With Grandma posts from me.

A great little side effect has occurred since I started cutting back on the iPhone/Internet time, my house is REALLY clean!


Do you suffer from Popcorn Brain?
If any of this sounds like you, most likely you do.

There is a test online you can take to determine if you have a problem: virtual addiction test. 
Seems a little bit of an oxymoron to have the test that determines if you have a problem with online usage online though.



Now, I need to cut the txting too!  I used to never txt.  I resisted it for years but we recently added unlimited txting to our plan this Spring and POOF, total txting junkie over here.  I seem to become addicted to technology rather quickly, maybe that's why I resist using it.  I am technology intimidated, I don't like learning how to use new technology so I just resist it.  I never wanted a smart phone to begin with.  I even refused to learn how to use Netflix forever, only learning when we shut our cable off as I needed to be able to put things on for the kids during the day. I better never give in to video games, they annoy me right now and I have never tried playing them.  I am sure I would become addicted rather quickly if I changed that.

Love,
this technology obsessed (but working on it) mama,
Christy

P.S. Hmmm, what blog should I write next, it's only been about an hour, I still have time......  KIDDING, KIDDING I swear!

P.P.S. If you see me online for a long time, feel free to say something and kick me off!

I'm Crunchy because I am lazy

I wish I could sit here and list all of the selfless and altruistic reasons why I live and parent the way I do but when it comes right down to it, it's just because I am lazy.  Actually, because I am lazy AND cheap, or frugal yeah that's a better word for it, we'll call it that.

Take breastfeeding for example.  Tanya hit the nail right on the head with her blog titled I Am Lazy Therefore I Breastfeed.  You really cannot get more lazy than laying on the couch and pulling down your shirt to feed your baby.  Sure I could take the high road,  sit here and recite all of the facts to you about how breastmilk is the perfect food for baby or list all of the health benefits both mom and baby receive but honestly those are just perks to me.  I am lazy and breastfeeding allows me to do the most minimal work possible to feed my baby.  If I could feed my whole family just as easily I would.  Its like the staples Easy button.  CLICK and baby is fed.

I had never experienced formula with my own children until Monkey was 5 months old.  Before they were all exclusively breastfed.  I had heard all the stories about how formula was easier but told myself I wanted to do what I felt was best for my babies, even if it was the harder path.  Imagine my surprise when I had to switch Monkey over to formula after my supply dried up.  I could not believe the amount of work there was involved with formula.  The measuring the water, making sure it was the right temperature (Monkey refused cold bottles, she was used to warm booby milk on tap and wanted nothing less).  Measuring out the formula, cleaning the bottles and the nipples, remembering to pack everything before leaving the house, having to actually get out of bed every time she awoke at night to make a bottle for her.  What were these moms talking about?  This was so much more work to me.

I am not in any way trying to start a debate on which is better, as I said I have done both.   I do not look down on moms who use formula.  I am just saying, in my own personal experience, formula is much more work that breastfeeding.  I am also very forgetful and I cannot tell you how many times I forgot the bottles and/or formula at home.  Having breastmilk on tap is so much easier on my poor mommy brain.  I am too lazy to even pump.
My frugal side kicks in with this as well, formula and bottles are so expensive.  Breastfeeding is free.  Hmmm, that's a tough choice there.

I absolutely loathed having to get out of bed 2-3 times a night to make her bottles, which brings me to another of my crunchy ways that comes more from a lazy standpoint than anything else.  We co-sleep/bed share because I am lazy.  Why get out of bed, go across the hall to a nursery, pick up the baby, feed them in a chair, sit there until they are done and back to sleep, put them back in the crib, go back to your bed and try to fall back to sleep only to do it all again a few hours later.  With a newborn, you are lucky to get 1-2 hrs of sleep in between each waking so I am all about trying to cut that waking time to a minimum.  Having baby in bed with me means I reach them faster so they are less worked up and awake.  Plus I am able to keep myself in the sleepy state easily so that I can quickly fall back to sleep.  Those 7 months when Monkey was on formula were the hardest and most sleep deprived months of my life.  Easily worse than the first few months with a newborn.  By the time I got everything done for her, even though she was old enough to hold the bottle and feed herself, it would still take me a minimum of 20-30 minutes to fall back to sleep.  Sometimes I would be awake for hours and finally start to drift off just about the time that she awoke again.

I babywear because its just easier on me.  It allows me to get things done while still cuddling and holding my baby.  So maybe that's not a lazy or frugal reason, more a multi-task reason.  I also babywear now out of necessity.  If I go out somewhere with all 4 kids I have to put the 2 older girls in the double stroller and wear Tub Tub.  With my first, second and even third baby babywearing was also done out of laziness because it was just so much easier than pulling out and setting up a bulky stroller.

On the frugal side, I recycle, use natural/homemade cleaners, cloth diaper, and UNpaper towel.  Again, I could say I do all of these to live a greener and simpler lifestyle and to lower my carbon foot print, but as with the breastfeeding benefits, these are just perks.  They could come out with a study tomorrow that says using natural cleaners and cloth diapering has no beneficial effect on the ecosystem and I would still choose to do them because I am cheap, err ummm I mean frugal.

Why is recycling frugal?  Simple, our family, a family of SIX makes an average of 1.5 bags of trash per week, with 3 in diapers (but that's also due to cloth diapering).  So I can buy a box of 20 garbage sacks and they last us about 3 months.   This may seem like pennies but can add up over time. I dream of the day that they start charging for garbage removal services based on the pounds or even number of bags you have.  We all  know that day is coming, many cities already place a limit on the number of bags allowed and charge extra fees if that limit is exceeded   I am sick of paying the same amount for trash removal as the Jon Does down the street who have 6-8 bags of trash a week with a family of 4.  Plus it would just be nice to give others an incentive to recycle as well.

Cloth diapering is an obvious frugal venture.  Three kids still in diapers, even with only changing every 4 hours in the day (and we all know that's a low estimate) plus 1 diaper at night that's still a total of 12 diapers a day we would need.  You can do the math on that one, its a lot of money I can tell you that much. 

UNPaper Toweling is something I have been doing for years now, way before the cloth diapers, before we had kids even.  Its something my grandma always did and I did not even know it had a name until recently.  If you are not sure what UNpaper toweling is, its exactly what it sounds like.  Its using reusable/washable towels in place of paper towels.  I have different "levels" of towels in our home, this covers wash cloths too.  Tier 1 towels are for drying off after showering.  Tier 2 towels are used for washing and drying dishes as well as to wash little faces and hands after particularly messy meals such as spaghetti.  Tier 3 towels are used for misc household cleaning and most spills.  Tier 4 towels are the bottom of the the tower, they are used for the particularly yucky jobs such as cleaning pee or poo off floors or scrubbing out vomit.  The towels get passed down through the tiers as they go.  Once they are at the bottom they stay there.  If you are asking yourself why Tier 4 towels are necessary you are obviously not a parent.
We also use Tier 2 for eating purposes.  I do have a few cloth napkins but find they are really more for decorative looks than anything else and do not do a particularly good job of wiping up things or cleaning off messy fingers.
The cheap gerber cloth diapers you can find at places like Walmart and Target make GREAT UNpaper Towels for cleaning purposes.

Even with the natural cleaners its more about saving money for me.  Sure, I love using natural products in my home and not having to worry about what sort of chemicals I may be exposing my kids to but secretly I love it because its cheap.  I know what many of you are thinking, natural cleaners are pricey, not really.  Not if you know what you are looking for and comparison shop.  Many of the natural cleaners cost less than the chemical versions, you just have to know what you are looking for.  Plus I rarely buy any actual premade (store bought, commercial, whatever you want to call it) cleaners.  Most of the cleaning around my house are done with white vinegar and baking soda.  You can't get more frugal than white vinegar and baking soda when it comes to cost.  Plus, both do a superior job to almost all other cleaners out there.  Recently I had to do the dishes using these 2 items mixed together in hot water.  It was hard to wrap my brain around the fact that there as no suds in the water, I kept thinking the dishes were not clean because of it and my germaphobe instincts kicked into over drive.   Then I realized they were actually doing a better job of cleaning the dishes as they got rid of a few things that I thought were permanently discolored.  You know those items we all have in the kitchen that are plastic and came into contact with a tomato based sauce and now have a bit of an orangish hue.  Soak them in some vinegar and baking soda and watch them disappear. 
For a whole list of wonderful things you can do around your house with just baking soda check out Job Description : Mommy's blog entitled Baking Sodas Many Mommy Uses

This summer I plan to install a clothes line.  Or should I say I plan to have the hubby install a clothes line.  This is definitely not for lazy reasons as I am sure taking the time to hang clothes out to dry will be a tad more work.  This one stems purely form my frugal side.  Its a "2 bird with 1 stone" frugal venture.  It will save us money not running the dryer in the summer which costs electricity not just to run but also to cool the house back down from the heat it creates.  It also is proven to extend the life of your clothes meaning more wear out of them.  Plus the sun is awesome for naturally bleaching out stains, I learned this with cloth diapers.

The last example I will give is cooking from scratch, or as close to scratch as possible.  Yes its good for you and I love to be able to know and control whats in the food I am feeding my family.   You  pay for convenience.  The less work involved in the "cooking" or preparing process the more expensive the food is going to be.  I won't even go into the facts about how most convenience and processed foods should really be called "food like substances" as they are far from real foods.  I will save that for another blog because in the end, its about making my food dollars stretch.  I am not going to pay $7 for a bag of frozen breaded chicken when I can get twice as much for the same price buying and breading the chicken myself.

I enjoy living a simpler life though, I am not into material things and I really dislike giving my money away all the time.  I enjoy all of the benefits that come along with the choices that I make but when it gets down to the nitty gritty I must admit I am crunchy because I am lazy-AND FRUGAL!

Love,
one lazy frugal Crunchy Mama,
Christy