The World Through a Preschoolers Eyes

Little Man got ahold of my camera and took some amazing pictures I must say.  I love the creativity of them.  To me, they show the world as he sees it.  I hope you all enjoy them too. There are a lot here, he went a little picture crazy.  Gee, I wonder where he gets that from, must be daddy's influence. *wink wink*

he even did a self portrait by holding he camera out
and taking a picture of himself

I have to laugh or else I may cry

WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!

May be TMI for some, invloves POO, don't say I didn't warn you!

A "fun" little sequence of events that just happened in our home:

I hear Little Man cry out "MOOOO-OOOM Smunchkin took off her diaper and now she's pooing"

WHYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!

So I rush back into the play room and sure enough there Smunchkin is, diaper no where to be found and a nice little pile of poop between her legs.  The only comfort I could give myself was at least it was a sold which meant easy(ish) clean up.

I had Tubs in my arms so I set her down on the floor and took Smunchkin to the bathroom to clean her up, then went to the playroom to remove the offending poopy.  When I cam back to the bathroom Smunchkin says "mama, I wanna  potty" a little late for that but I always want to encourage all desire to use the potty so I placed her on the potty where she proceeded to wipe pretend who knows what.

While we are in the bathroom I hear "MOOOO-OOOOM, now Monkey is pooping too"

WHAT! ARE YOU FLIPPING KIDDING ME!

I make Sunchkin quickly finish up and flush her pretend potty away and rush BACK into the playroom to discover that NO, Monkey is not pooping too, apparently Snuchkin did not stay in 1 spot while she was pooping and mommy missed some.  Thankfully Monkey found it for mommy and she was even "nice" enough to share some with Tubs.  I really need to reevaluate our sharing policy to omit certain things.

Picture Monkey finger painting the carpet with it while Tubs squishes a good handful in her chubby little fist just squealing away like its the best thing ever.

I take Monkey and Tubs into the bathroom and begin to wash Tubs hand in the sink.  So far that's the only place she has the poo so I wanted to get her washed down first before she got it anywhere else.  monkey had it all over her hands, clothes and some in her hair so she was going to need a bath.

Ah sweet Monkey, always thinking ahead for mommy.  While scrubbing Tubs chubby fist, that she is refusing to open and let go of her prize, Monkey disappeared behind the partial wall that separates the main bathroom/sink area from the toilet/shower area.  I knew immediately what she was doing and called out "don't do it, don't you dare do it" but before I could set Tubs safely down on the floor I heard a squeal and splash.

MONKEY WAS IN THE TOILET.

I wish I could say it ends here but alas it did not.  The poo still had a few more "fun" surprises planned for me.

I stripped Monkey down and placed her in the shower to scrub her off.  Once she was clean I wrapped her in a towel and headed to the living room to get her dress.  No sooner did I step into the hallway and SQUISH, right between the toes.

At this point I just started hysterically laughing so hard that I am crying.  I set Monkey's naked tush down in the hall and limp back into the bathroom to wash my foot off.  As I am doing this Little Man comes into the bathroom in tears with his beloved blue Ellie (the elephant) that he has had since he was born.  He hands her to me sobbing and says "mom" sniff hiccup "Ellie....is...RU0INED" sniff sniff, BAWL.  Ellie was covered in poo.

Seriously, why does no one tell you about days like this before you have kids?  Where is my reality show, that would have made for some hilarious air time people.  I am still just hysterically laughing as I relive it.

At least I can laugh about it right.

Love,
Poopy, err I mean Christy

P.S. The picture above is not from this incident.

I'm Crunchy because I am lazy

I wish I could sit here and list all of the selfless and altruistic reasons why I live and parent the way I do but when it comes right down to it, it's just because I am lazy.  Actually, because I am lazy AND cheap, or frugal yeah that's a better word for it, we'll call it that.

Take breastfeeding for example.  Tanya hit the nail right on the head with her blog titled I Am Lazy Therefore I Breastfeed.  You really cannot get more lazy than laying on the couch and pulling down your shirt to feed your baby.  Sure I could take the high road,  sit here and recite all of the facts to you about how breastmilk is the perfect food for baby or list all of the health benefits both mom and baby receive but honestly those are just perks to me.  I am lazy and breastfeeding allows me to do the most minimal work possible to feed my baby.  If I could feed my whole family just as easily I would.  Its like the staples Easy button.  CLICK and baby is fed.

I had never experienced formula with my own children until Monkey was 5 months old.  Before they were all exclusively breastfed.  I had heard all the stories about how formula was easier but told myself I wanted to do what I felt was best for my babies, even if it was the harder path.  Imagine my surprise when I had to switch Monkey over to formula after my supply dried up.  I could not believe the amount of work there was involved with formula.  The measuring the water, making sure it was the right temperature (Monkey refused cold bottles, she was used to warm booby milk on tap and wanted nothing less).  Measuring out the formula, cleaning the bottles and the nipples, remembering to pack everything before leaving the house, having to actually get out of bed every time she awoke at night to make a bottle for her.  What were these moms talking about?  This was so much more work to me.

I am not in any way trying to start a debate on which is better, as I said I have done both.   I do not look down on moms who use formula.  I am just saying, in my own personal experience, formula is much more work that breastfeeding.  I am also very forgetful and I cannot tell you how many times I forgot the bottles and/or formula at home.  Having breastmilk on tap is so much easier on my poor mommy brain.  I am too lazy to even pump.
My frugal side kicks in with this as well, formula and bottles are so expensive.  Breastfeeding is free.  Hmmm, that's a tough choice there.

I absolutely loathed having to get out of bed 2-3 times a night to make her bottles, which brings me to another of my crunchy ways that comes more from a lazy standpoint than anything else.  We co-sleep/bed share because I am lazy.  Why get out of bed, go across the hall to a nursery, pick up the baby, feed them in a chair, sit there until they are done and back to sleep, put them back in the crib, go back to your bed and try to fall back to sleep only to do it all again a few hours later.  With a newborn, you are lucky to get 1-2 hrs of sleep in between each waking so I am all about trying to cut that waking time to a minimum.  Having baby in bed with me means I reach them faster so they are less worked up and awake.  Plus I am able to keep myself in the sleepy state easily so that I can quickly fall back to sleep.  Those 7 months when Monkey was on formula were the hardest and most sleep deprived months of my life.  Easily worse than the first few months with a newborn.  By the time I got everything done for her, even though she was old enough to hold the bottle and feed herself, it would still take me a minimum of 20-30 minutes to fall back to sleep.  Sometimes I would be awake for hours and finally start to drift off just about the time that she awoke again.

I babywear because its just easier on me.  It allows me to get things done while still cuddling and holding my baby.  So maybe that's not a lazy or frugal reason, more a multi-task reason.  I also babywear now out of necessity.  If I go out somewhere with all 4 kids I have to put the 2 older girls in the double stroller and wear Tub Tub.  With my first, second and even third baby babywearing was also done out of laziness because it was just so much easier than pulling out and setting up a bulky stroller.

On the frugal side, I recycle, use natural/homemade cleaners, cloth diaper, and UNpaper towel.  Again, I could say I do all of these to live a greener and simpler lifestyle and to lower my carbon foot print, but as with the breastfeeding benefits, these are just perks.  They could come out with a study tomorrow that says using natural cleaners and cloth diapering has no beneficial effect on the ecosystem and I would still choose to do them because I am cheap, err ummm I mean frugal.

Why is recycling frugal?  Simple, our family, a family of SIX makes an average of 1.5 bags of trash per week, with 3 in diapers (but that's also due to cloth diapering).  So I can buy a box of 20 garbage sacks and they last us about 3 months.   This may seem like pennies but can add up over time. I dream of the day that they start charging for garbage removal services based on the pounds or even number of bags you have.  We all  know that day is coming, many cities already place a limit on the number of bags allowed and charge extra fees if that limit is exceeded   I am sick of paying the same amount for trash removal as the Jon Does down the street who have 6-8 bags of trash a week with a family of 4.  Plus it would just be nice to give others an incentive to recycle as well.

Cloth diapering is an obvious frugal venture.  Three kids still in diapers, even with only changing every 4 hours in the day (and we all know that's a low estimate) plus 1 diaper at night that's still a total of 12 diapers a day we would need.  You can do the math on that one, its a lot of money I can tell you that much. 

UNPaper Toweling is something I have been doing for years now, way before the cloth diapers, before we had kids even.  Its something my grandma always did and I did not even know it had a name until recently.  If you are not sure what UNpaper toweling is, its exactly what it sounds like.  Its using reusable/washable towels in place of paper towels.  I have different "levels" of towels in our home, this covers wash cloths too.  Tier 1 towels are for drying off after showering.  Tier 2 towels are used for washing and drying dishes as well as to wash little faces and hands after particularly messy meals such as spaghetti.  Tier 3 towels are used for misc household cleaning and most spills.  Tier 4 towels are the bottom of the the tower, they are used for the particularly yucky jobs such as cleaning pee or poo off floors or scrubbing out vomit.  The towels get passed down through the tiers as they go.  Once they are at the bottom they stay there.  If you are asking yourself why Tier 4 towels are necessary you are obviously not a parent.
We also use Tier 2 for eating purposes.  I do have a few cloth napkins but find they are really more for decorative looks than anything else and do not do a particularly good job of wiping up things or cleaning off messy fingers.
The cheap gerber cloth diapers you can find at places like Walmart and Target make GREAT UNpaper Towels for cleaning purposes.

Even with the natural cleaners its more about saving money for me.  Sure, I love using natural products in my home and not having to worry about what sort of chemicals I may be exposing my kids to but secretly I love it because its cheap.  I know what many of you are thinking, natural cleaners are pricey, not really.  Not if you know what you are looking for and comparison shop.  Many of the natural cleaners cost less than the chemical versions, you just have to know what you are looking for.  Plus I rarely buy any actual premade (store bought, commercial, whatever you want to call it) cleaners.  Most of the cleaning around my house are done with white vinegar and baking soda.  You can't get more frugal than white vinegar and baking soda when it comes to cost.  Plus, both do a superior job to almost all other cleaners out there.  Recently I had to do the dishes using these 2 items mixed together in hot water.  It was hard to wrap my brain around the fact that there as no suds in the water, I kept thinking the dishes were not clean because of it and my germaphobe instincts kicked into over drive.   Then I realized they were actually doing a better job of cleaning the dishes as they got rid of a few things that I thought were permanently discolored.  You know those items we all have in the kitchen that are plastic and came into contact with a tomato based sauce and now have a bit of an orangish hue.  Soak them in some vinegar and baking soda and watch them disappear. 
For a whole list of wonderful things you can do around your house with just baking soda check out Job Description : Mommy's blog entitled Baking Sodas Many Mommy Uses

This summer I plan to install a clothes line.  Or should I say I plan to have the hubby install a clothes line.  This is definitely not for lazy reasons as I am sure taking the time to hang clothes out to dry will be a tad more work.  This one stems purely form my frugal side.  Its a "2 bird with 1 stone" frugal venture.  It will save us money not running the dryer in the summer which costs electricity not just to run but also to cool the house back down from the heat it creates.  It also is proven to extend the life of your clothes meaning more wear out of them.  Plus the sun is awesome for naturally bleaching out stains, I learned this with cloth diapers.

The last example I will give is cooking from scratch, or as close to scratch as possible.  Yes its good for you and I love to be able to know and control whats in the food I am feeding my family.   You  pay for convenience.  The less work involved in the "cooking" or preparing process the more expensive the food is going to be.  I won't even go into the facts about how most convenience and processed foods should really be called "food like substances" as they are far from real foods.  I will save that for another blog because in the end, its about making my food dollars stretch.  I am not going to pay $7 for a bag of frozen breaded chicken when I can get twice as much for the same price buying and breading the chicken myself.

I enjoy living a simpler life though, I am not into material things and I really dislike giving my money away all the time.  I enjoy all of the benefits that come along with the choices that I make but when it gets down to the nitty gritty I must admit I am crunchy because I am lazy-AND FRUGAL!

Love,
one lazy frugal Crunchy Mama,
Christy

Dear Dishes, I Hate You!

Dear Dishes,
I hate you!
No Love,
Christy

we are a household of SIX! This is dishes form
breakfast and lunch only!

Ok, so I know "hate" is a very strong word.  Its actually a "no no" word in our house so shhhhhh, please don't tell Little Man I said it. 

Maybe I should say I detest, strongly dislike, disdain, despise, LOATH the dishes instead.  No, hate seems to pretty much sum it all up for me. I HATE dishes with a passion. 

I am not sure why I have such a strong dislike for them.  Its not like they are particularly hard to do.  I can think of plenty of other chores that are much harder than dishes. 

Maybe its my inner germaphobe that's screaming out.  I just can't stand to put my hands in the water.  Its icky, it sends shutters down my spine and if some teeny tiny piece of food manages to make it in there and brushes up against my hand I want to vomit.  I never feel like they are really "clean" and spend way too much time scrubbing and rescrubbing each individual dish.

If you couldn't tell already, I have to do the dishes by hand.  Our home did not come "fully equipped" and a dishwasher was just  not standard on this model unfortunately.  I think this may be part of my dislike for them.  They annoyed me before but I never really felt such disgust until we moved and I had to start doing them by hand. 

Growing up we always had to do dishes by hand and I promised myself that when I lived on my own I would have a dishwasher.  I was able to keep that promise too with every place we lived in until now.  We have always lived in apartments/duplexes and now we have a home in the country with a small amount of land.  It was a trade off I was willing to make, at the time.  Now I am starting to question that haha.

I told myself that at least doing dishes by hand was greener and better for the environment and our pocket book due to less water usage.  That was stolen from me quickly after whining on Facebook to friends and discovering that dishwashers, especially the new more energy efficient models, are actually greener.  That was the only "perk" that made it even remotely worthwhile.

I told myself it would only be a few months, that we would save up and get one even if it meant getting a used one on Craigslist.  I forgot we are in a recession and people are trying to make a living off selling things in CL and want almost what they paid, sometimes more.  Thanks, I will pass on your 6 yr old USED dishwasher that you want $250 for when I can get a NEW one with a warranty for $300.

I told Santa I wanted a dishwasher for Christmas, unfortunately Santa told me he was too broke.  So I am stuck doing them by hand still. 

I personally think a dishwasher would make a beautiful Valentine's Day gift, what about you?  What says romance more than a machine that will wash the dishes for me!?!?  YEAH BABY!

I literally have dreams about just scraping dishes off and loading them on it.  I was a bad girl and would complain about having to do that when I had a dishwasher, shame on me!  I thought it was annoying to load and unload that thing, so foolish and spoiled I was.

Its even starting to effect my love of cooking.  Who wants to cook when it just means dirty dishes to wash.  HO-HUM.  I know, suck it up and be a grown up already.

Can I just say being a grown up really SUCKS sometimes! (shhhh, thats a "no no" word in our home too!).

SO, who wants to start the "Let's buy Christy a dishwasher" fund.  Anyone, anyone................anyone at all..............all I hear are crickets chirping does that mean there are no takers? ah shucks!  It was worth a shot.



With love for everyone EXCEPT my dishes,
Christy

P.S. For those of you who are lucky enough to own a dishwasher but prefer to do them by hand, shame on you, send the dishwasher on over my way so it can have the proper love, respect and attention that it deserves.  Poor little dishwasher, sitting in your kitchen all alone being shunned.  Never getting to feel the water coursing through its lines and feel the true joy of banishing all the icky germs and dirt from your dishes.  Its ok little dishwasher, I love you!

Great, now I am THAT mom!

You know the mom I am talking about.  The one everyone looks at and judges in public because she's yelling at her kids or her kids are acting crazy, having a meltdown, screaming and crying, the list goes on and on.  She is the mom everyone scoffs at and says "I would never act like that' or "I would never let my kids act like that".  Yep, I am now THAT mom!

So, why am I that mom?  I was at Walmart today with my kids.  I had just spent over 30 minutes in the return line.  Was rudely cut in front of as I was the next person by an older lady.  I walked up to the counter to say I was next and she and the associate both ignored me.  I just stood there refusing to move.  Turns out the lady doing the return works there and I guess that's why she and the associate decided it was ok for her to cut in front of me.  Finally got my return done and the 3 older kids were crying for a drink, found a water fountain and filled their cups up which they all slammed, some happier than others (Teddy thinks plain water is the plague!).

Began my shop[ping and at this point they are all hungry.  Yes I know, my bad for going out at lunchtime except I didn't, not really.  I left the house at 10 am it just took forever with previous errands and because of all the crazy after Christmas shoppers and returners.  I frantically search for something that I can open in the store to give them, settled on a box of Annie's Cheddar Bunnies.  Gave them their snack and that kept them happy for a little bit.  Then Teddy announced he had to pee.  Of course we were all the way in the back of the store and had to make our way all the way up to the front through the craxy crowds.  After he gets out Karma decides she needs out too and proceeds to try and climb out over and over again.  I am practically holding her in the cart and making her sit down repeatedly.  Sariah starts to cry and then Teddy and Kimmy start fighting.  Teddy is intentionally annoying Kimmy to make her scream and cry "no Teddy no!" over and over.  All through this I am still repeatedly sitting Karma back down.  I have no idea how many times I made her sit back down, I would have to guess more than 20 probably less than 50!!

Sadly, NONE of the above are what made me THAT mom, to me anyways-although I am sure I was already quite a sight to many.  No, what made me THAT mom was still to come.

Finally Karma stops trying to climb out but she's still screaming at the top of her lungs.  I tried offering her more cheddar bunnies thinking that maybe she was still hungry and that's why she was crying but she didn't want them.  Teddy is still annoying Kimmy who is still screaming "no Teddy no" at the top of her lungs over and over again and poor Sariah is still crying.  I wished I had brought my sling in, I am sure she wanted to nurse but I just wanted to finish and get out of that crazy place. I realized after the bathroom trip I had lost my list and I was desperately trying to think clearly to remember what I needed.  I was concentrating so hard on thinking about what was on the list and just absent mindedly saying "shhhh, shhhhh, shhhh don't cry don't cry, everyone please stop crying, you are ok, no one is hurt, its ok, Teddy please leave your sister alone, Kimmy stop screaming, shhhh shhhh shhh, you are all ok, no one is hurt, please don't cry, Teddy stop that, shhhh, you have no reason to cry, shhhh shhh, no one is hurt please stop crying"  Up and down the aisles I went like this giving myself a headache as I tried to drown out the screaming and remember what I needed to buy.

All of a sudden I heard a woman's voice saying "oh my I think her leg is stuck honey" and a man's voice "your right! Ma'am, Ma'am her leg is stuck!"
I shook myself out of my daze and realized they were talking to me, looked over and realized in her last attempt to climb out of the seat Karma's leg had become pinned under the stupid blue plastic flip down thing in the seat of the cart and she was sitting on it causing her to pinch her own leg.  I quickly fixed this and she instantly stopped crying.  I was mortified, there was a ton of people in the aisle and they were all glaring at me. I told the couple thank you but they both just gave me rude stares and walked away.  As they walked away I heard the woman say to the man 'I can't believe she was telling her to be quiet like that when the poor baby's leg was being pinched" 

YEP., I am now offically THAT MOM!  I was so mortified I left the food section and went to get all of the nonfood items I needed because I did not want to run into the couple or all the other people who had been in that aisle giving me evil death stares as if I was the worlds worst mom ever.

So the next time you are out and about and you see "THAT mom!" maybe instead of staring and judging her you can try to put yourself in her shoes and empathize with her.

Oh, and just to be clear, although it seemed to last forever the total time that elapsed between Karma's last attempt to climb out of the cart and the couple pointing out that her leg was pinned was like no more than 2 minutes.  Still horrible I know but I didn't want anyone to think I walked around the store forever with her like that.  We were a cart like the one pictured below, only blue since we were at Walmart.  She was in the top seat of the actual cart with Teddy and Kimmy riding in the plastic seats and Sariah in the back of the cart.

Bummis SuperLite

Ok, I have been neglecting this blog, I apologize!

Back in September I was blessed to be picked as one of the Testers for Bummis.  This was a huge blessing for our family as all 3 girls are still in diapers!
We received our testing package in November and it was like Christmas morning to me!  It came with 7 covers, 3 prefolds and 3 Bummis inserts.  Sadly, prior to this we only had 9 covers to share between the 3 girls so this almost doubled our stash.

Sariah in her SuperLite

One of the down sides to testing is you are not allowed to talk about how much you like (or dislike) the products.  It has been so hard for me not to talk about the diapers, I love to talk as I am sure you all  know.  I was so excited when Malina, who works for Bummis, informed me that I could now talk about 1 of the covers we received as it has been released now.  Its called the SuperLite and this morning I actually wrote a review on the Bummis website.  I wanted to share it here as well.

Note: I am not being paid for this, unless you count that I was picked at random to be 1 of their testers.  Just wanted you all to know these are my honest feelings about this cover and not something I am being paid to say.  These are my opinions and not anyone at Bummis.


Here is the review I posted on their site:

I had the privilege of being picked to test for Bummis and I received a SuperLite diaper in my testing package. I have 3 girls in diapers (yes 3!) and I am impressed with the performance of this cover on all 3 but for different reasons on each.
For my 6 month old I like the SuperLites easy adjustability. She is quite chubby weighing almost as much as her 2 older sisters. She has rolls on top of rols on her legs and many covers dig in and leave ugly red marks but not the SuperLite.
For my 18 month old I like how thin it is, unlike most cloth diaper covers its a super thin shell, allowing you to easily stuff 2 prefolds or a prefold and doubler in there to help with super soakers. This is my go to cover for my 18 month old at bedtime. I can stuff 2 prefolds in without a whole lot of bulk and she doesn't leak out all over her jammies and bed at night.

inside of the SuperLite Wrap

For my 2.5 yr old I like this cover because its so sleek and trim. She has the opposite problem as my 6 month old. She is 8" taller than my 6 month old but only weighs 2 lbs more. She is super tiny and its hard to find cloth diaper covers that fit snug enough in the waist and around the thighs at the same time. There are usually gaps that cause leaking but not with the SuperLite. Overall I am VERY impressed with the SuperLites performance. If I had to complain about something, it would be the velcro. I am much more of a snaps kind of girl but with all the other features it has going for it, not to mention the price, I am willing to overlook that. The SuperLite I have is plain white, I am so excited to see they decided to make them available in colors and can't wait to order a few for my girls


Now that I know these are available for purchase AND they come in colors I cannot wait to buy a few more.  I was trying to phase out velcro in my diaper stash but as I said in the review above, this is something I am willing to overlook as the overall performance of the cover is so high.
I need to make myself wait until after Christmas but thought maybe Santa could bring a few as a gift for mommy.

P.S. Must admit I was a tad embarrassed to realize I had a few typos in my review that I already posted on Bummis website lol.  O-well that's what happens when you type while holding a bouncy excited 6 month old and don't think to proof read before hitting post.

P.P.S.  Just found out they are on the market but not available for sale until early January.  Guess Santa will have to bring some to mommy as a late Christmas gift haha.

SuperLite back view, superwide tush haha

Oh, But She's Adopted.....

My beautiful baby girl Karma

I find myself saying that a lot lately and I am not really sure why but I know its a habit I have to break, and soon.

Karma the day she came to us. 
The second they placed her in my arms
she was mine!

I developed it as a way to try and explain WHY I have so many kids as there seems to be some new unwritten rule in our society that says anything more than 2 or 3 kids is strange and out of the ordinary.  I get stares everywhere I go and hear whispered (and sometimes Very loud and blatant) comments ranging from the innocent and benign "oh wow, look at all those kids" and "that poor mama, she's a busy lady" to the occasional "why would anyone want that many kids?" "surely you are done having kids now" "you don't want any more right?" and my all time favorite one I have ever gotten, said with all the rudeness and disgust he could muster "I sure hope those are not all yours!"

I don't know who wrote this rule or when it was put into place but now it seems that if you have more than 2 or 3 you are some sort of freak of nature.  People are free to stare at you and say anything and everything they want and you are expected to just take it because you "choose" to be said freak.  You are a "breeding machine" that many think "need to be stopped".  Maybe it stems from all of the reality shows like "Kate Plus 8" (formerly "Jon & Kate Plus 8") and "19 Kids and Counting". 

Don't get me wrong, I also get the nice well meaning strangers too.  The ones who say things like "I know how you feel, I had-insert some large number here-kids myself, they are all grown and gone now".  These are all usually sweet older ladies, although I have heard it from a few men.  These are few and far between the ones listed above however.  Some of the people may not be meaning to come off as sounding harsh or judgemental.  I guess it is quite a sight to see me grocery shopping, pushing one of those huge carts around with the older 3 kids in it and the baby in her Baby Bjorn or Hotsling attached to me.  Maybe these people just do not understand how often I hear these comments and therefore, to me, they sound way harsher than intended.  I will never understand why strangers think its randomly ok to just vomit from the mouth whatever pops into their head.

Oh, and if 1 (or more) of my kids is having a break down or temper tantrum in the store, or where ever we may be, LOOK OUT!  The comments get real nasty and real ugly REAL FAST!  The "she needs to take them home"  and "doesn't she realize they need a nap?" and I even once heard "I can't believe she brings them all out in public like that"  REALLY?  SERIOUSLY?  Should I leave them at home by themselves instead, would that make your day easier because I am all about making YOUR DAY easier!  I have seen on shows such as "SupperNanny" that when your child is throwing a fit in the store you should leave and yeah, that sounds GREAT in theory, if you only have 1 or 2 kids with you.  When you have 4 kids, age 4 and under in the store you are on a mission.  You are focused on completing the task as quickly as possible and just getting out of there.  Rude and inconsiderate people only make this experience worse.  Its no picnic for me to listen to them screaming, at least you can walk away.  I have to go home with these little monsters.

So, ever since Sariah was born, it may have even started the last month or 2 of the pregnancy, I have developed a very bad habit.  Something that I just randomly spit out and feel the need to tell any and every stranger I meet.  I point to Karma and say "Oh, but she's adopted!".  This somehow seems to make me feel better in the moment and has many times made the rudest of people stop and gasp and even say "oh, sorry, that is wonderful of you guys......" and go into some random thoughts about how great they think I am for adopting her.

Its not the praise I am looking for, I am just trying to give them some explanation as to WHY we have 4 kids as if its illegal to do so.  As if saying "she's adopted" somehow magically makes it all ok and sadly, it does exactly like.  Suddenly I am this weird "supermom" in their eyes, almost like a martyr mom sacrificing myself for this poor adopted baby girl.  It has become a very bad habit and I find myself saying it multiple times to almost every stranger I can while we are out in public.  It has gotten so bad that several times, while on the phone paying bills or whatever they will hear 1 (or more) kids in the background and as "oh, how many do you have?".  Without even thinking about it I just reply "4, but-1-is-adopted".  I have even started typing this online anytime I am in some sort of mommy support group, chat, FB Page, you name it.  I will type "I am a mom of 4 ages 4 and under, but on is adopted".  I am pretty sure I even put that on this blog somewhere in the intro! 

This is not something I need to share with every person in the world.  I have even joked with my hubby that I should have a special "going out in public/shopping" shirt made  up with the phrase "Yes I have 4, but one is adopted!" om it so I don't have to explain it 10 plus times on every outing we go on.  I said this to him as a joke but I have realized I really do this.  I seriously explain to everyone all day long that I have 4, but one is adopted.

We by no means ever have or ever would plan to tell Karma we are her birth parents, she will always know she is adopted.  At the same time, she is getting older now, almost 18 months, and she is more and more aware of things every day.  I don't want her growing up and hearing me say over and over again "oh, but she's adopted".  I don't want her to feel like she is somehow less than our biological children and I know that growing up with this being thrown in her face on an almost daily basis will make her feel just that way.  She will think that she is somehow less than our other kids and that mommy must love her less, why else would she run around telling anyone and everyone she can that I am adopted.

This is a habit I developed as a means of defense, something to use to help shield the rudeness of others but its something I must stop.  Its making me feel guilty so I can only imagine what it will make her feel once she is old enough to understand what I am saying.

The truly sad thing is I should have never had to start this.  People should think about things before they just blurt them out.  Our society has become so rude and so callous to one another.  We live in a "me me me" world where people give no thought to others and care only for themselves.  How dare I actually take my kids out in public and disrupt the peace of others lives.  That's how many feel I know because they make it known to me in words, dirty looks, shrugs, huffs, puffs, you name it.

So the next time you are out in public and see a mom with X amount of kids (whatever you may consider as "a lot" or "too many") and you get the urge to blurt out something about it, even if you think its funny and know in your head you are only joking DON'T!  You don't know what the circumstances of that family are.  Maybe they are foster parents, some are adopted, maybe they are not even all that 1 mothers kids.  She might run a daycare or be caring for a sick friend/relatives children.  She should not be made to feel like she has to explain herself to every Tom Dick and Harry who walks by and feels the need to question "why so many?".  You may not think the things you are saying are rude at all, you may think they are funny or you may even be genuinely impressed with this mom and her skills to handle so many kids.  Speaking from a mom who has walked in her shoes, she can no longer distinguish those comments though.  She has been judged and criticized one too many times by people who DID mean to be rude and ugly to her about her personal choices so now all comments just blurr together and get lumped in the rude/harsh category.  So even the most genuine and well meaning of "supportive" comments are just another stone thrown at her, another ding in the armor she has had to build up to societies judgements and then she turns into the looney lady who walks around telling everyone "OH, BUT SHE'S ADOPTED"  See I am normal just like you, its ok, she's adopted, we are not crazy!!

We do not live in China people, we are free to choose to have as many or as few children as we like.
So, if you hear me saying this or see me typing this please feel free to call me out on it.

And to answer the other question I hear at least a dozen times a day.....

NO! We surely ARE NOT done having kids.  Will we have more, that has yet to be decided but it is a door we have left open.  We love all of them equally and that's all that matters to me.

Love,
Christy PROUD PROUD mommy to 4 beautiful, wonderful, special, irreplaceable children!