Saturday, January 15, 2011

Dear Dishes, I Hate You!

Dear Dishes,
I hate you!
No Love,

we are a household of SIX! This is dishes form
breakfast and lunch only!
Ok, so I know "hate" is a very strong word.  Its actually a "no no" word in our house so shhhhhh, please don't tell Little Man I said it. 

Maybe I should say I detest, strongly dislike, disdain, despise, LOATH the dishes instead.  No, hate seems to pretty much sum it all up for me. I HATE dishes with a passion. 

I am not sure why I have such a strong dislike for them.  Its not like they are particularly hard to do.  I can think of plenty of other chores that are much harder than dishes. 

Maybe its my inner germaphobe that's screaming out.  I just can't stand to put my hands in the water.  Its icky, it sends shutters down my spine and if some teeny tiny piece of food manages to make it in there and brushes up against my hand I want to vomit.  I never feel like they are really "clean" and spend way too much time scrubbing and rescrubbing each individual dish.

If you couldn't tell already, I have to do the dishes by hand.  Our home did not come "fully equipped" and a dishwasher was just  not standard on this model unfortunately.  I think this may be part of my dislike for them.  They annoyed me before but I never really felt such disgust until we moved and I had to start doing them by hand. 

Growing up we always had to do dishes by hand and I promised myself that when I lived on my own I would have a dishwasher.  I was able to keep that promise too with every place we lived in until now.  We have always lived in apartments/duplexes and now we have a home in the country with a small amount of land.  It was a trade off I was willing to make, at the time.  Now I am starting to question that haha.

I told myself that at least doing dishes by hand was greener and better for the environment and our pocket book due to less water usage.  That was stolen from me quickly after whining on Facebook to friends and discovering that dishwashers, especially the new more energy efficient models, are actually greener.  That was the only "perk" that made it even remotely worthwhile.

I told myself it would only be a few months, that we would save up and get one even if it meant getting a used one on Craigslist.  I forgot we are in a recession and people are trying to make a living off selling things in CL and want almost what they paid, sometimes more.  Thanks, I will pass on your 6 yr old USED dishwasher that you want $250 for when I can get a NEW one with a warranty for $300.

I told Santa I wanted a dishwasher for Christmas, unfortunately Santa told me he was too broke.  So I am stuck doing them by hand still. 

I personally think a dishwasher would make a beautiful Valentine's Day gift, what about you?  What says romance more than a machine that will wash the dishes for me!?!?  YEAH BABY!

I literally have dreams about just scraping dishes off and loading them on it.  I was a bad girl and would complain about having to do that when I had a dishwasher, shame on me!  I thought it was annoying to load and unload that thing, so foolish and spoiled I was.

Its even starting to effect my love of cooking.  Who wants to cook when it just means dirty dishes to wash.  HO-HUM.  I know, suck it up and be a grown up already.

Can I just say being a grown up really SUCKS sometimes! (shhhh, thats a "no no" word in our home too!).

SO, who wants to start the "Let's buy Christy a dishwasher" fund.  Anyone, anyone................anyone at all..............all I hear are crickets chirping does that mean there are no takers? ah shucks!  It was worth a shot.

With love for everyone EXCEPT my dishes,

P.S. For those of you who are lucky enough to own a dishwasher but prefer to do them by hand, shame on you, send the dishwasher on over my way so it can have the proper love, respect and attention that it deserves.  Poor little dishwasher, sitting in your kitchen all alone being shunned.  Never getting to feel the water coursing through its lines and feel the true joy of banishing all the icky germs and dirt from your dishes.  Its ok little dishwasher, I love you!


  1. LMAO!! By far the funniest post ever! I know shame on me for not using mine for alost 3 years! but now I love it! I thought I was being greener too but I would wash dishes 5 sometimes 10 times a day! Yes 10!! I now wash them once a night and I do the pots in the sync.. I feel for you sister!

  2. I can relate! Here's a trick I use on myself, because I, too, cannot handle the tactile overload of food schmoo in the gunky water: I don't fill the sink.

    1. Scrape dishes into compost, trash, whatever
    2. Soap a scrubby thang
    3. Scrub each dish, both sides, place in empty side of sink
    4. When you have a good pile, take a few minutes to rinse those off and put them in the drainer
    5. Repeat until all offending dishes are spotless

    Wishing you a dishwasher soonly -- folding tines, hard food disposal, stainless interior and many, many water squirters...

  3. I feel for you, I really do. You deserve a dishwasher!!
    I do love my dishwasher and use it everyday. However, my MIL only uses her dishwasher as a drying rack after handwashing everything at her house. On more than one occassion at MY house, she has put my full load of dirty dishes away in my cabinets as she assumes anything in the dishwasher is clean. Gross! Took forever to rewash everything. She has also done other dumb things like wash my nice , WHITE bath towels in with jeans...and then wondered why the towels were blue. But that's a whole other topic.

  4. You can make handwashing greener by using the dirty water to water plants. That said- I'm totally with you on this. Except I don't even like loading the dishwasher.

  5. LMAO! Ahh I love this post. I too had to wash dishes by hand growing up. My Dads favorite line when we would BEG for a dishwasher was " why do i need to buy a dishwasher, I have 3 right here!" referring to me and my 2 sisters. Grrr I can't tell you how much that annoyed me. During the move to Texas, my precious Kitchen Aid DW was broken(stupid cross country movers!!)and needed a new motor. So now it sits in my garage waiting to be fixed and we bought a cheapo to hold us over for now. (yes, it was more to replace the motor on my Kitchen Aid than to buy a new cheapo!!) Since reading this post I will give a little hug to my cheapo, especially since it is my 12 year old sons chore to unload it. :D Gotta love kids who want to work for their allowance. Ok want is stretching it, I force him. Thanks for the laugh Christy!!


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