PiA Guest Blog: Everybody’s Free to E.C. in the U.S.A. from TouchstoneZ

Today's Parenting in America guest blog comes from Zoie of TouchstoneZ.  She writes about the freedom we all have in America to diaper (or not diaper in this case) our babies as we see fit.  I love how she also ties in the fact that America, usually ahead of others in so many areas, is behind the majority of the world when it comes to EC.  Mostly I just enjoy this post because I am fascinated with the idea of EC (but admittedly far too lazy to do it with my 3 girls).

Everybody’s Free to E.C. in the U.S.A.

“He’s not wearing a diaper?” said another mother in the store bathroom as I helped my 7 month old son go potty. “No. We practice E.C.” I replied. “What is E.C.?” she asked…

Babies are born knowing when they need to eliminate. It is a strange concept to most parents in the United States nowadays. But over 85% of the rest of the world practices Elimination Communication. It has been practiced since ancient times and only really left our collective consciousness in the U.S. within the last few generations.

It wasn’t until the second half of the 20^th century that disposable diapers were invented and mass marketed successfully to US parents. It took one generation for disposable diapers to become affordable and another for advertising and industry-funded studies to convince parents that full-time diapering for through preschool years was more convenient.

It has only been in this generation of children that there has been a renewed interest in EC in the US. Aided by the vast amount of information available on the internet, the rise in popularity of both attachment parenting and environmental concerns, more parents are looking at cloth diapering and ECing as a viable option for their families.

Most of us in the US have the freedom to parent as we determine is best for our families. We can learn about the environmental impact that EC, cloth and disposable diapering has on our environment and choose the method that speaks to us for our families.

So, what exactly is EC aka elimination communication aka diaper-free baby aka natural infant hygiene?

Put simply, EC is a way for parents and babies to connect. EC is a way for parents to observe and help their babies’ with his/her needs. Over time, parents begin to understand the ways that their child communicates their need to eliminate and can even begin to anticipate when they’ll need to go before they communicate it.

There are many ways to EC and each family decides what works best for them. Some families don’t use diapers at all. Some use diapers only when they’re out of the house. Others do E.C. part time, using a combination of cloth or disposable diapers and pottying. I have several resources I referred to for this post that include lots more information one getting started with and practicing E.C. at every age.

What are some of the benefits of EC?

·         EC is another tool for families to connect. Both the parent and child benefit by close bond and understand one another’s rhythms and communications.

·         It helps a child maintain their awareness and connection to their bodies. It helps them understand that their body is their own to protect and care for. It allows them to trust that those who care for them will honor their needs.

·         EC helps protect the environment because it minimizes the use of diapers, laundry, and cleaners associated with diaper care and disposal.

·         It can help reduce diaper rash, urinary tract infections, and constipation.

·         It is less expensive than diapering.

·         It empowers children to take of their needs themselves. Even before babies can get themselves to the potty, they can communicate their need to eliminate. After they can get to the potty themselves, it is one more way they can hold onto their own power.

·         It supports attachment parenting and breastfeeding because it encourages parent and baby closeness and learning of one another’s rhythms

·         It keeps harmful chemicals present in disposable diapers away baby.

·         It comes from the perspective of “allowing to let go” instead of “holding it in.”

·         You never have to worry about running out of disposable or clean cloth diapers.

So, back that conversation in the store bathroom with the other mom…

I explained a bit of what EC is and some of its benefits. The other mom said that she noticed her baby always fussed before she eliminated in her diaper. She also said that inevitably, her daughter would pee or poo the moment the diaper was removed or immediately after a fresh diaper was put on her. I suggested perhaps her daughter was eliminating a little bit then finishing after the soiled diaper was removed. I wrote down some websites, along with my email, and gave her a few suggestions to give it a try. I suggested she try catching a pee or poo after a feeding or after waking. Those are probable times for babies to need to relieve themselves.

I received an email from her three weeks later, part of which said (paraphrased) I didn’t know believe you about EC, but my daughter started fussing after a diaper change. So, I took her diaper off and held her over it. She peed right away. What they won’t think of next in America.

Resources I used for this post:

Books:

Infant Potty Training: A Gentle and Primeval Method Adapted to Modern Living by Laurie Boucke

The Diaper-Free Baby: The Natural Toilet Training Alternative by Christine Gross-Loh

Websites:

DiaperFreeBaby.org

Tribal Baby: Trust Your Baby Trust Yourself

MotherJones: Brief History of the Disposable Diaper

If you enjoyed this post make sure to check out TouchstoneZ's blog and to give her a like on Facebook.

If you are interested in participating in this Carnival check out my intro blog First Ever Blog Carnival: Parenting In America 7/3-7/10  for details on how to participate.  The carnival runs through Sunday, July 10th so it is definitely not too late.  Make sure you go back and check out the other 2 posts from the carnival so far:
Guest Post: American Woman by Little Hearts Books
Guest Blog: Parenting in America from Hybrid Rasta Mama

If you post on your own blog today make sure to come and leave a link to it as a comment on this blog (as I have yet to figure out how to add linky's) and I will make sure to share the link in tomorrows post as well as to share it on FB.

Guest Post: American Woman by Little Hearts Books

Today's guest post for our Parenting in America blog carnival comes from Little Hearts Books (Gentle Parenting Resources).  She compares the many parenting freedoms we enjoy (and often take for granted) in America to other countries were such practices are frowned upon or outright banned. 

If you write a post on your own blog and publish it today please leave a link in the comments on this post (as I am uncool and have yet to figure out the linkys thing) so I can compile a list to share with everyone and post them on Instinctual Mamas to share with everyone.

American Woman

Lexi

I am a breastfeeding American woman. As a mother of six who has nursed all of my children, some well into the toddler years, I can assure you that my breasts have been exposed publicly more than once! Now, I am not a militant public breastfeeder and always strive to be discreet in my nursing out of simple courtesy, but the flailing arms of a newborn and playful ‘peek-a-boo’ removal of a nursing cover by a toddler have occasionally caught me off guard. While I don’t consider nursing publicly a constitutionally guaranteed right, I do believe that our government is set up to protect a mama’s right to feed her baby and to allow for public demonstrations such as ‘nurse-ins’ to promote breastfeeding awareness. Conversely, in October of 2009 Islamic militants in Mogadishu attacked and beat Muslim women for not wearing socks and others for wearing bras. The militants claimed that bras are deceptive to men and therefore dishonor them. Time and time again stories surface of Islamic women flogged for exposing a wrist or ankle, beaten by husbands or fathers for public indecency such as speaking with a non-relative male, and stoned or stabbed to death in ‘honor killings’ for dishonoring their families by being raped.

We are a co-sleeping American family. Our newest little family members go from womb to room, from being held in warm comfort inside of me to being snuggled up beside me. We follow safe co-sleeping guidelines, of course, but feel our tiny new additions are far safer sleeping in our family bed than in isolation. Most naps are taken right in my arms or a baby wrap after being nursed peacefully to sleep. Is it inconvenient? Yes, sometimes. But we didn’t have children for our convenience, and this time is so fleeting I miss it already as my sixth baby slumbers contentedly on my chest while I write these words. Conversely, in Spain young mama Habiba only recently had her baby, Alma, returned to her after Spanish authorities removed the 15 month old for concerns over ‘chaotic’ breastfeeding and co-sleeping patterns. The Spanish authorities first tried to coerce Habiba into weaning Alma and using a crib, but were angered when Habiba continued to “use breastfeeding as comfort” and “sleep with Alma in her bed while using the cot [crib] to deposit items such as toys and clothes.” While I’m thankful that little Alma is safely back in her mama’s arms, my mama’s heart can’t stop hurting for all the other Habibas and Almas whose lives are being ripped apart by intrusive and restrictive governments worldwide.

We are a homeschooling American family. For about 14 years now, my husband and I have made the decision to educate our children at home. I have full autonomy to choose their curriculum, to make (and break!) our own schedule, and to center our school on our Christian faith and conservative values. We can spend an entire school year solely exploring space and the next immersed in archeology. We can take the month of December off and then ease back into school with short days and abbreviated weeks as we recover from the holiday whirl. I can let my children read what they love, write creatively, and pursue their talents and interests. Conversely, in 2008 a 17-year-old girl, Melissa Busekros, was forcibly removed from her parents and placed in the child psychiatry unit of a Nuremberg, Germany clinic. "Homeschooling was first banned under Adolf Hitler, and that ban is still enforced today," says the homeschool legal defense association (John-Henry Westen). And that is just one case among many of a parent’s choice to homeschool being met with government interference in or outright severing of families.

We are a non-vax’ing American family. I, like the majority of young mothers, trusted my children’s pediatrician and suffered through injection after injection and ‘mild’ reaction after ‘mild’ reaction to vaccinations, believing I was doing what was best for my children’s health and well-being. Then came the terrifying seizures when my #5 was six months old. And then came the brick wall. None of the doctors at the hospital, including our pediatrician, would even consider the multiple vaccinations my baby had received a couple of days before as a cause of the seizures. They put that poor baby through test after test after test, and even when no other explanation could be found, they still wouldn’t look at the vaccinations as a possibility and just listed the seizures as “of unknown cause.” That experience taught me to be wary of the medical establishment and set off a massive vaccination research project in my life that resulted in two words: Never again. And I am so very thankful to live in a nation where I have that right, that freedom to make informed choices for my family! Conversely, in 2009 seven year old Domenic Johansson was snatched from his parents’ custody by officials of Gotland, Sweden. They were accused of not vaccinating him and of homeschooling him. No other accusations or charges were brought against them, but to this day he has not been returned to their custody. Once every five weeks they are permitted a one hour, supervised visit. Unbelievable, and so heartbreaking!

Cracie

We are a church planting American family. Through the years our family has been involved in planting several new churches from helping to grow one or two year old churches, to being a part of core groups starting a new church, to actively hosting a brand new church in our own home. In the United States, this is our right, and we have the freedom to exercise it without fear of reprisal or government intervention. Conversely, Iranian pastor, husband, and father Youcef Nadarkhani has been in prison in Iran since October 2009, sentenced to die for his Christian activities. The appeal of his death sentence was rejected by the Iranian Supreme Court in June of this year. He is to be executed by hanging (Voice of the Martyrs). Stories of religious persecution and the restriction of religious freedoms can be found from every corner of the globe, and the stories are chilling.

We are an American family.  Our nation is by no means perfect and our freedoms are by no means free, but here in the United States our Constitution stands resolutely proclaiming, and overseas our troops stand tirelessly protecting, our precious freedom. We thank God for our country and our military. God bless our troops, and God bless the U.S.A.!

Little Hearts Books can be found on Facebook and Twitter @LRKnost

L.R.Knost, Christian author and homeschooling mother of six, is the founder of the nonprofit, Little Hearts/Gentle Parenting Resources, which offers Gentle Parenting workshops, speakers, and consultations in the Central Florida area as well as online Gentle Parenting resources. Her Wisdom For Little Hearts children’s book series weaves Gentle Parenting techniques into colorful, engaging stories for little ones ages 2-6. The first book in the series, Petey’s Listening Ears, was released from Lifeway in April 2011, and Addie’s Inside Voice, JoJo’s Gentle Hands, and Zoey the Happy Helper are due out soon with more to follow! For more information on Gentle Parenting or to order Little Hearts books or products, please visit http://www.littleheartsbooks.com/ or Amazon at http://t.co/dIpvluC.

Her current book, Petey's Listening Ears is available on Amazon.com



http://www.littleheartsbooks.com/

 Watch my blog in the coming weeks for a review/giveaway of the next book in the Little Hearts series, Addie's Inside Voice.



If this is the first you have heard about the Parenting in America blog carnival it is not too late, check out the announcement blog First Ever Blog Carnival: Parenting In America 7/3-7/10 for details on how to participate if you are interested.  If you would like to guest post on my blog please email your submission to reedfamily55 at gmail dot com.  I am still in need of guest posts to host Wed-Sun of this coming week.

Try It, You'll Like It- Finding Your Cloth Style

Welcome to the First Annual Freedom of Cloth Carnival


This post was written for inclusion in the Freedom of Cloth Carnival hosted at Natural Parents Network by Melissa of The New Mommy Files and Shannon of The Artful Mama. This year’s carnival will run from Sunday, July 3rd through Saturday, July 9th. Participants are sharing everything they know and love about cloth diapering, including how cloth has inspired them.

Before I stepped into the world of fluffy bums the idea of using cloth was quite intimidating.  The wash routines, the clean up but mostly the plethora of styles and options available. There was OS (one size), Fitted, AIO (all-in-ones), AI2 (all-in-2's), Hybrids, Pockets, Flushable Liners, Hemp Inserts, Cotton Inserts, Microfiber Inserts, Organic Cotton, Non-Organic Cotton, Bleached, Unbleached, Wool, Fleece, PUL, Prefolds, Flats, Big Name Brands, Small WAHM (work at home mamas), Solids, Patterns, it just went on and on.  A mama could easily get confused and lost in all of the options that are out there.

In the end I went with prefolds and covers because, well, that's what was given to me by a good friend.  I think prefolds and covers are a great "stash starter" because you can get a lot more bang for your buck out of them.  You can easily diaper 1 baby with 4 covers and 8-12 prefolds (as long as you wash everyday). 
At the same time, for me anyways, I think this option is the "hardest" and most time consuming of all of the cloth diapering styles out there.  As a busy mama of 3 active little girls all in cloth, anything that cuts down a diaper change by even a few seconds is a huge help to me.  I know many mamas absolutely love and adore their prefolds and covers and would never even consider another diaper style.  Its really about what you want/need in a diaper.

Once I had the base of my stash established I was able to sample other styles out there.  I tried a few pockets, a few AIOs, fleece covers, hybrid diapers, fitteds and even Flats.  I must say, having tried the flats I would advise new moms to get Flats and covers to start out with instead of prefolds if they are interested in that route.  I liked the flats much more and think they are far superior in performance over prefolds.

I am also very spoiled with my AIO diapers now.  I can see why many mamas set out to establish an entire stash of these diapers from the start.  If you have unlimited money to spend, then this would be my suggestion for you.  Most of us do not have unlimited money though.  I do suggest you buy at least 1 AIO diaper to try out.  They are VERY user friendly aka they are daddy, grandma, and babysitter friendly.  The go on and off just like a disposable.

Pockets are also much more user friendly than Flats/Prefolds with covers.  A pocket diaper has a shell with an opening near the back and come with inserts that you stuff inside.  Unlike the PUL covers you use with flats/prefolds the pocket shell is not reusable so you will need more of these to get started.  Most Pockets feature some sort of "stay-dry" lining to sit between baby's tush and the soaker insert inside.  Often the material used for this is suede cloth.  I do like the pockets I have for this very reason.

No matter what style you decide to go with I also now suggest every mama get at least 1 fleece cover/soaker per child.  I was truly shocked at just how water-proof fleece can be.  It is a must have in my book for a successful nighttime diaper.  You can even put it over an AIO or Pocket diaper at bedtime. 

Once you have picked a style to start out with then you have to decide if you want to go the Big Name Brand or WAHM  route.  I have both in my diaper stash and must say I love the satisfaction that comes with supporting a WAHM over buying from a big national brand.  Many cloth mamas see the big brands like wearing name brand clothes though.  Once again its all about your personal preferences.  I for one enjoy supporting the little guy and Made in America options whenever possible.

My personal stash is very eclectic, just like my life.  I think it represents my personality well.  I have a little of this, a little of that and an entire hodge podge of fluffy goodies to cover my girls bums.  Each day I choose the diaper that fits my mood.  If I am feeling particularly lazy or tired then the girls will be in AIO, if we want to feel a little fun then a cute pattern is in order.
In my personal stash I have:
AIO's
1 Hybrid (its an AIO with a pocket that you can add an insert for extra absorption)
Pockets-both Big Name Brand and WAHM
PUL Covers
Fleece Covers
Fitteds
Prefolds
Flats
and 1 Best Bottom Diaper that I am not sure where to classify it at?  Possibly Hybrid as it is a sort of cross between a Cover/Prefold and a Pocket.  It has snap in inserts that snap into place on the PUL cover.  As long as no poo gets on the cover it is reusable.  The inserts also work great stuffed into a pocket.  This is also a great suggestion for mamas just starting out.  It is very user friendly like pockets but very budget friendly like prefolds/flats and a cover. 

My cloth philosophy is don't jump in head first and invest all of your money into 1 specific brand or style.  What works for 1 baby may not work for another.  Your BFF may swear by pocket diapers but you may end up loathing them.  I have read too many horror stories from other mamas about spending all of their money on 1 particular brand/style because of all the good reviews only to dislike that diaper and be stuck with it because they had no more money to purchase anything else. 

Buy a few diapers from various brands and in at least 2 styles to try as a starter stash.  Cloth diapering does not have to be an all or nothing adventure.  You can start out with a few diapers and just do it on a part time basis. Then, once you have a feel for what you like go ahead and purchase your full stash.  If you are anything like me, your full stash will be a rainbow of fluff.

Overall just try cloth diapers, don't be intimidated just jump on in.  Try it, You'll like it!

If you run into a few styles/brands that do not work for you consider donating them to mamas in need through Spreading the Fluffy Love, Giving Diapers, Giving Hope or The New Cloth Diaper Foundation

Love,
this cloth addicted mama,
Christy



***
Visit Natural Parents Network for the most up-to-date news on the Freedom of Cloth Carnival!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants on the following themes. Articles will go live on the scheduled theme day:

• Sunday, July 3rd, 2011: Cloth Related Recipes — Writers share their best cloth-related recipes and tutorials.
• Monday, July 4th, 2011: Choosing Your Cloth Style — Today’s posts discuss parents' individual journeys to finding the cloth diapering "style" that best suits their families.
• Tuesday, July 5th, 2011: Cloth Diapering Must Haves — Parents talk about the most important items in their diapering “stash” and why they love them.
• Wednesday, July 6th, 2011: Wordless Wednesday, Inspired by Cloth — We asked parents to share their favorite cloth-related photo with us and turned them into a fluffy Wordless Wednesday photo montage on Natural Parents Network. Link up your own Wordless Wednesday post there!
• Thursday, July 7th, 2011: Cloth Through the Stages: From Infancy to Potty Independence — Today’s participants explain how cloth diapering has served their families throughout one or more stages of their children’s lives.
• Friday, July 8th, 2011: Cloth Troubleshooting and Laundry Day — Seasoned cloth diapering parents share their best tips and tricks for handling common cloth problems and tackling the diaper laundry.
• Saturday, July 9th, 2011: Inspired by Cloth — For today’s theme, we’ve asked writers to explore the ways cloth diapering has inspired them to become "greener" overall.

Cloth Diaper Review: Two Hip-Peas in a Pod

If you have followed my blog for any length of time then you know I like to write about products I truly love, and I truly love cloth diapers.  I don't do this as a giveaway or because the company sent me free stuff * I do it just because I love the product (DIAPER!).  In the past I have written about how much I love Econobums, Bummis and all things Blissful Booty. 

Today I want to write about another amazing diaper find I have made, Two Hip-Peas in a Pod.

pretty sure this was the only time Sariah ever got
to wear this diaper.

Two Hip-Peas in a Pod was started by 2 cloth lovin WAHM who are also sisters.  These mamas are very talented and creative.  They make pocket style cloth diapers.  Every week when they stock I stalk their page just so I can drool over the yummilicious diapers they have created.  I often tell my hubby to count his blessings that we are not rich or else I would break us buying up all of these scrumptious diapers.  Only a cloth diapering mama can really understand what I mean.  Check out their Hyena cart to get a little taste for what these ladies can do.

These mamas have done things with their diapers that I have never seen any other WAHM do.  Not saying they created or invented these ideas just that it was the first time I ever saw it including dividing up and doing 2 prints on the same diaper and using minky on the OUTSIDE of the diaper and not just the inside (although all of their diapers have some sort of minky/velour soft innner).

I do have the honor of owning 2 amazing diapers from these ladies.  A Very Hungry Caterpillar diaper and recently a 4th of July diaper.

The Very Hungry Caterpillar diaper is 2 prints in 1 diaper.  The back and front cross over snap portion is in the "dots" print (think inside of the book front cover) and the front of the diaper is the "and then he ate..." print with all of the naughty foods he ate that gave him a bellyache.  It has green minky on the inside.

Anyone who knows me knows about my love affair with The Very Hungry Caterpillar.  When I found out I could get a diaper in this print I HAD to have one!  It was diaper lust at first sight!  I am in love with this diaper and so is Kimmy, aka my Fluffy Fashionista.  I got this diaper back in April and it has been worn every single day.  Its not hard to do with 3 in diapers BUT this one is almost always worn by Kimmy.  If I even try to put it on one of the other girls she has a complete meltdown on me.  She calls it her "candy diaper" and refuses to let anyone else wear it.

So I can attest that not only are these diapers fun to look at and have in your collection but they really stand up to the test of time.  Being worn and washed everyday from April until now and the diaper still looks and works great.

I had someone ask about leaking issues as she was worried that most WAHM diapers leak.  I can promise you this diaper does not leak.  I only had issues once with it leaking but it was human error on my part.  We were running late for church and Kimmy did not want to wear the diaper I had picked out for her she wanted her "candy diaper" so I grabbed it and stuffed an insert in quickly.  After only 20 minutes she was leaking out.  When I went to change her I realized the insert was all bunched up inside and the side she was leaking on had no insert at all.  So that was my fault for not making sure the insert was properly put in.

The only real issues I have ever had with the diaper is with the minky material, which is no fault of the maker.  I have just noticed that minky sometimes tends to hold onto oder more than other materials.  This could also be just because Kimmy has very strong concentrated urine because she never drinks enough (can't force a kid to drink, and now your lives are all complete because you know that she has concentrated urine).  BUT, I have always been able to get the smell out using either sunning, stripping, Dawn dish soap or most recently fresh lemons (check out my Cloth Tidbits post for more info).

We also JUST got a 4th of July diaper.  I am obsessed with 4th of July clothes, not because I like the holiday itself (I actually have a very irrational fear of fireworks and detest the holiday) but because Miss Kimmy herself was born on the 4th of July.  She was born 4 days late and I joke that she did it on purpose just so she could have that b-day.

The 4th of July diaper is a Holiday print that is blue with red/white/blue sparkly flag print stars (you can't see the sparkles from the pics but trust me they are there) and has a white minky (possibly velour as I easily get the 2 confused and it does not have the dots but stripes, feels like minky though) inner.  I can't get a picture of the diaper by itself as Kimmy is currently wearing it.  The day she opened it up she handed it to me and declared "oooo, a new diaper, put it on my butt!"  I think it's safe to say she loves it.

Yes, Kimmy is turning 3 this year and yes we are starting to try and stir up interest in her to try potty learning but she still loves her diapers and a 4th of July diaper was the perfect gift for her.  Anyone who knows her knows that.  Just like last year, for her 2nd b-day some good friends of ours gave her binkies.  Everyone else laughed that she was too old but that was her favorite gift.  I never worried much about her binkie (or bebe as we call them) habit and she self-weaned on her own in January of this year at 2.5 years old.  I never made it a big deal and always let her have them when she wanted.  I am trying to do the same with diapers.

If you are looking for the perfect cutesy diaper for an upcoming holiday or special event you have got to check these ladies out.  I cannot WAIT to see what they come up with for Halloween and Christmas, I just hope I have the $$ to get some diapers at that time (winters are hard for us).  In the very least Sariah will still be wearing diapers (as we are working on potty learning for Kimmy and Karma as a pair, Kimmy is more motivated since Karma is doing it too) and she will "need" a Halloween and Christmas one.

Now, what are you waiting for, go check them out and drool!

Love,
this creative cloth lovin' mama,
Christy

P.S. They also make AWESOME mama cloth, theirs is the only REAL mama cloth I own (the rest were crudely made by me, their work WAY better!).  I have an upcoming blog post in the works all about my journey into the world of mama cloth.

*I have received or won some free stuff form some of the companies listed but not because I did a review for them.  Some we were chosen to be testers for, others I won in contests.  None were given to me in exchange for a review, which is kind of obvious since I have no giveaway attached to them.  I just love to share about products that I know are good and worth the money.

Guest Blog: Parenting in America from Hybrid Rasta Mama

Well, today officially kicks off my Blog Carnival: Parenting in America and I am pretty sure I will be banned from ever having another one haha.  I meant to write a post yesterday to post up here today but between kids, house, laundry, unexpected b-day party, church and life I didn't finish mine.

THANK GOODNESS Hybrid Rasta Mama ROCKS and wrote 3 posts.  She graciously agreed to let me put up 1 of them on my blog today to kick things off.

If you plan on participating on your own blog please make sure you message me with the link so I can post a link on here each day with a short intro into your blog.  Each morning I will be posting 1 piece on here and links to the other posts for that day.  If you post yours later in the day I will include it on the next days list so no worries there.

Without further ado, here is Hybrid Rasta Mama's excellent post.......

Parenting in America

I wrote this post as part of the Parenting In America Carnival hosted by Adventures in Mommyhood: Mommy Outnumbered. The Carnival is running from July 3-10, 2011. This is post number one in a series of three.

Parenting in America is a hot mess (and I would love nothing more than to see that change). Maybe not everyone sees it the same way I do but honestly, there is a lot to be desired in the way we now parent our children. I don’t know when the shift took place or what went wrong specifically, but today’s parents seem to really struggle to be parents. I will admit that the United States is a hot mess in general but shouldn’t that spur parents to do an ever better job at parenting so that we can send our sons and daughters out into this world as adults who can make the changes this country of ours needs?

Personally, I worry about the future. A lot. Why? Well…

I am going to make a BIG generalization here. I believe that most parents have been brainwashed into thinking that they do not know how to parent by money hungry “experts” who are looking to get rich quick off of their “parenting book/t.v. show that will solve all of your parenting problems in one day.” These experts have us stuck in our heads. They have torn us away from parenting with our hearts. They have encouraged us to forget about what is best for our children from a developmental standpoint and instead have forced us into a mindset where children should become little robots who do and say all of the right things because society expects and demands it. These experts have us believing that we need to create “good” children. I have a HUGE issue with this.

Children, by their very nature, ARE GOOD. Children are not born evil. They do not understand evil nor do they understand good. They learn that over time.

Children live in the moment. They exist. They take in their surroundings, they explore, they LIVE. But then, WE step in. WE discourage childhood. WE discourage innocence. WE discourage children being children. WE WANT society to praise us for having “good” children. WE do not want to be embarrassed by “bad” behavior. Therefore, WE employ parenting techniques that alienate us from our children. Each time we step away from a gentle, peaceful, natural parenting approach, we are altering the bond of trust, respect, and love that we had with our child the moment he or she was born. Every time we spank, every time we send a child to time-out,  every time we yell, every time we threaten, every time we expect more than a child is capable of and punish them for not meeting an impossible expectation, every time we squash natural curiosity, every time we hinder appropriate development, every time we fail to provide clear and consistent boundaries, every time we fail our children by not providing an environment safe for them to live and play in, WE,THE  PARENTS, are contributing to the hot mess that is Parenting in America.

It is time for a change. I am proud to be part of that change. I have found a community of like-minded mothers, fathers, grandparents, aunts and uncles who understand that mainstream parenting is failing our children. Together, we are employing parenting practices and creating parenting philosophies to respect each individual child’s needs and combine that with supportive, loving, positive, and gentle parenting. We are connected to our children. We are in tune as a family. We are shunning ineffective parenting techniques that are continually shoved down our throats. We seek to educate and inspire other parents who are open to becoming the kind of parent their child needs them to be. And we are not condemning those parents who still have a ways to go on their journey.

Ideologies do not change overnight. But they CAN and DO change.  We just have to come together as parents and get back to the basics. So today, I encourage you to parent with heart, to parent from the place that your child needs you to parent from. Only you know where that place is. Dig deep (if you haven’t already) to find it.

One love,

Jennifer

Hybrid Rasta Mama blogs at http://www.hybridrastamama.blogspot.com/  She calls herself the Hybrid Rasta Mama because, in her words she sees herself "...as a hybrid mama.  I take a little of this and a little of that and blend it all together into something that works for me, Tiny and my husband."  Click here to read more about who Hybrid Rastsa Mama is.
Make sure to check out her blog and her FB, give her a like, you won't be sorry/

Are you participating this week?  It's not too late, check out my announcement blog First Ever Blog Carnival: Parenting In America 7/3-7/10 for information on how you can participate.  You don't need a blog, you can write a peice for me to post on here 1 of the days.



Tender Moment Tuesday- Too Many to List.

So I had several moments this past week that I wanted to freeze in time and remember forever.  Moments that made my heart sing and turn to mush all at the same time.  I had a hard time picking which was my favorite and in the end I decided there was no rule set that I couldn't share more moments if the occurred.  So these are my Tender Moments for the last week.

Feel Better Daddy:

Ted and I were sick this week (ironically none of the kids seemed to really get sick though, just a few runny noses). Ted was so sick in fact that he stayed home from work (something he NEVER does!).  While he was in bed resting Teddy came to me with paper and crayons and asked me to help him make daddy a "get better card" as he called it.  He wanted me to help him write "Feel Better Daddy" on it.  So I took 1 piece of paper and wrote "Feel Batter Daddy"and he used that to copy the letters onto his own "card"

This was the finished product:

he forgot the e in his name (something he does a lot lately)
so he tried to add it in after he was finished haha.

And Kimmy took the piece of paper I wrote on to make her own card for daddy:

Dancey Dance Time

Kimmy had her first Tiny Tots Dance class this past week.  This made the list only because it means she is growing up and I want to make time slow down.  She will be 3 next week!

Reading to go:

Sariah was convinced she was part of the class too:

Chillaxin' and Soaking up Vit D

This morning, after we dropped Teddy of for his very last day of summer school, the girls and I decided to take advantage of the cool and sunny morning and play on our new (to us) trampoline.  First I sat and then I laid down on it as they "jumped" around me (Kimmy is the only one who really jumps haha)

This was my view:

More of my view:

Then Tubs decided since I was laying down I must be offering her some boob time:

So she took full advantage of some boobie snack time right there on the trampoline:

 ♥ It's mornings like these that I really count my Blessings  ♥

What were your tender moments this week?  I would love to hear them!


Love,
this mushy hearted mama,

Christy

Healthy Eating, Healthy Living: 16 Reasons to Avoid HFCS

I am sure I must annoy many of my friends and family with all of my talk about avoiding HFCS (High Fructose Corn Syrup).  I constantly talk about reading labels and not feeding that stuff to my kids.  Once in awhile I am somewhat bamboozled by a brand that I trust that slipped it in with out me knowing either because I didn't read the label or because they used a different name.  The corn industry is sneaky like that, you have to learn to watch for many different names.  They know we catch on and start avoiding 1 particular ingredient (like HFCS) and they just change the name.

Names to watch out for:
High Fructose Corn Syrup
Crystalline Fructose- “is produced by allowing the fructose to crystallize from a fructose-enriched corn syrup.”  Sounds like HFCS to me!   
Corn Syrup- HFCS is made from Corn Syrup.  Corn Syrup is made from corn starch.  It is not the same as HFCS but the starting blocks of it.  Its not necessarily as bad for you but really not that good either so I suggest avoiding it.
Corn Syrup Solids- Same as corn syrup, not as bad for you has HFCS but it's still made by turning corn starch into glucose so probably best to avoid. 

Corn syrup solids are nothing more than a dried/dehydrated version of corn syrup, often used in powdered coffee creamers and similar products
High Maltose Corn Syrup- This link says it all, "Meet High Fructose Corn Syrup's Sneaky Cousin: High Maltose Corn Syrup".  I only discovered this new sneak tactic in the last week when I was reading the label of a trusted "all natural" brand.  I had band trust and brand loyalty and didn't think to check the label before buying this new product of theirs.  It was only after we had eaten half the box that I made the discovery.

Glucose Syrup- another name for corn syrup
Corn Sugar- I only added a link to this to show the corn industry's attempt to pass of HFCS as "corn sugar" and "natural".  I most assuredly do NOT agree with ANYTHING on that website!!

"IF YOU CAN’T CONVINCE THEM, CONFUSE THEM."
-Harry Truman

That's exactly what they are trying to do.  They are trying to convince and confuse us into believing that HFCS is natural and just like real sugar.  Corn Sugar, is the Corn industry's newest idea to slip HFCS in under the radar and make it sound "natural" after their failed Sweet Surprise/Get the Facts advertisement campaign of  claiming "HFCS is just like sugar and fine in moderation"

"High-fructose corn syrup and sugar are nutritionally and metabolically equivalent," the Corn Refiners Association said. "The name 'corn sugar' more accurately describes this sweetener ..."
- Michigan's sugar beet growers in fight against 'corn sugar'

The problem with that is, it is not even close to real sugar and there is no moderation with that stuff.  Almost every processed food in the grocery store from bread to snack cakes, chips to soda and even a few surprising ones such as lunch meat and pancake syrup, ice cream and even canned fruits/veggies often contain HFCS in them.  It is actually quite a challenge to avoid the stuff.  You really have to become a label reader and read every single label on every single item you buy.  Its the only real way to ensure nothing you are buying contains HFCS in it.

HFCS is unnatural and sweeter than sugar.  It actually makes your body crave MORE sweet things to eat.  It is also cheaper than sugar and has a longer shelf life which is why so many companies chose to use it instead.  It is an artificial way to keep food costs down.

I plan to write another post about avoiding all artificial sweeteners (as that is EXACTLY what HFCS is no matter what the anyone in the back pocket of the corn industry claims) but for now I will stick to the reasons why you want to avoid this stuff like the plague.

16 Reasons to Avoid HFCS:

1. HFCS has been associated with accelerating the aging process.  Gotta appeal to people vain sides, a diet that includes HFCS = aging much faster!
2. Obesity- and while we are on the subject of vanity HFCS is a KNOWN contributor to the obesity epidemic in the US.  50-100 years ago there was no obesity problem and you know what else, there was no HFCS, processed foods or fast food!!  Butter (and I mean REAL butter, made from a cow not fake plastic wanna be crap) is not our problem, other natural fats are not our problem,  Processed unnatural food like substances are the problem.  Our bodies do not know what to do with these unnatural wanna be foods.
"When rats are drinking high-fructose corn syrup at levels well below those in soda pop, they're becoming obese -- every single one, across the board. Even when rats are fed a high-fat diet, you don't see this; they don't all gain extra weight."
-Bart Hoebel, Psychology Professor at Princeton who conducted a study that showed that "all sweeteners are not equal when it comes to weight gain: Rats with access to high-fructose corn syrup gained significantly more weight than those with access to table sugar, even when their overall caloric intake was the same." 
the article also goes on to say that:
"In the 40 years since the introduction of high-fructose corn syrup as a cost-effective sweetener in the American diet, rates of obesity in the U.S. have skyrocketed, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. In 1970, around 15 percent of the U.S. population met the definition for obesity; today, roughly one-third of the American adults are considered obese, the CDC reported. High-fructose corn syrup is found in a wide range of foods and beverages, including fruit juice, soda, cereal, bread, yogurt, ketchup and mayonnaise. On average, Americans consume 60 pounds of the sweetener per person every year."
3. Its not REAL food- like too much "food" in America these days, HFCS is not REAL food.  It is a man made chemical that mimics sugar to our taste buds and our brain.  The problem is our bodies do not know what to do with it.  Store it as fat?  Attack and expel it out as a foreign toxin?  Our bodies just don't know.  Most food in America (and definitely anything that contains HFCS) can only be called a "food like substance" at best.  Fillers that are made cheaply with the intention of tricking your body into thinking you have eaten and are full.
4. Fructose is metabolized in the liver, diets high in HFCS may cause the liver to over work creating many liver problems up to and including liver failure.  Sugar is a perfect 50/50 balance of glucose and fructose.  HFCS can have anywhere from 55-80% fuctose causing the liver to over work.  Since it is created it is not an "exact" match for sugar and the acceptability range on the fructose balance fluctuates.
5. The liver can also develop cirrhosis when HFCS is consumed, a disease that is normally seen in alcoholics.  So if your diet includes HFCS you could avoid alcohol and never have a single drink your entire life yet end up with a liver that looks exactly like that of an alcoholic. (see #4 above)
6. HFCS has been linked to cellular inflammation and oxidative damage to the body.
7. Infertility- cellular inflammation and oxidative damage in the body can negatively impact fertility.  Add to that the fact that obesity can negatively impact fertility and anything that causes the body to be out of whack in any way can also cause fertility issues.  It's no wonder so many people in America suffer fertility issues.  So if you are trying to have a baby, put down that soda can!
8. When HFCS is consumed the body builds extra, very dangerous and unnecessary fat deposits around the heart, liver and digestive organs.
9. Consuming HFCS may cause and has been linked to Diabetes
10.  Consuming HFCS may cause and has been linked to Heart Disease- see #8, fatty deposits around the heart can lead to heart disease.
11. Consuming HFCS may cause and has been  linked to Kidney Damage/Kidney Disease-
"Researchers from Loyola University’s Stritch School of Medicine in Chicago took a look at the link between kidney disease and high-fructose corn syrup. Using data from nearly 9,400 adults in the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey from 1999 to 2004, they tracked consumption of sugary soft drinks, a major source of high-fructose corn syrup in the United States, and protein in the urine, a sensitive marker for kidney disease. They found that overall, people who drank two or more sugary sodas a day were at 40 percent higher risk for kidney damage, while the risk for women soda drinkers nearly doubled."
-The New York Times: Still Spooked by High Fructose Corn Syrup
This TERRIFIES me because I already have plenty of kidney issues including chronic kidney stones and kidney infections.  I often jokingly ask my hubby if he will give me a kidney when mine fail but its really not that funny anymore!  I used to have an almost constant pain in my right lower back/side area (the right kidney is always the one that produces the stones) that began in my early 20's and became progressively worse as I got older.  It really flares up when I am pregnant. When I stopped consuming HFCS it went away.  When I started allowing myself to indulge in Dr. Pepper again (when the Dr. Pepper Throwback, made with real sugar, was no longer available to buy, it started out as 1 every 2-3 days and quickly jumped back up to 1 with lunch and 1 with dinner. ) the pain returned as well.  This was just last month and when I switched to a local Lemonade made with inverted cane juice and Natural Sierra Mist (made with real sugar) the pain is once again gone.  That's enough "proof" for me that the HFCS was doing something to my kidneys!  I also had and passed a kidney stone in the few months I was once again consuming the HFCS laden Dr. Pepper.  They appear to have kept the Pepsi and Mt. Dew throwback sodas but the Dr. Pepper is no longer available in any of the stores near me.
12. HFCS has been linked to many forms of cancer including the almost always deadly pancreatic cancer.  The pancreas is part of the digestive system.  It aids in insulin production and the breaking down of sugar into energy for the body.  The pancreas is just as confused with HFCS as the rest of the body.  HFCS causes the pancreas to have to work overtime.
13. HFCS causes you to over eat.  Since it is broken down differently in your body it does not trigger the correct release of hormones to tell your body you are full.  It creates a vicious cycle of confused "hunger" (your body thinks you are hungry when you are not) followed by over eating. 
14. Diets high in HFCS have been associated with Metabolic Syndrome which "is a cluster of conditions — increased blood pressure, elevated insulin levels, excess body fat around the waist or abnormal cholesterol levels — that occur together, increasing your risk of heart disease, stroke and diabetes."
15. A 2008 study found that High Fructose Corn Syrup Contains Mercury.
"Almost half of tested samples of commercial high-fructose corn syrup (HFCS) contained mercury, which was also found in nearly a third of 55 popular brand-name food and beverage products where HFCS is the first- or second-highest labeled ingredient, according to two new U.S. studies."
-The Washington Post
We all know Mercury is a huge toxin!!  I shudder at the thought of the amount of Dr. Pepper I have drank in my lifetime as I am pretty much 100% sure that is one of the "55 popular brand-name food and beverage products" they are talking about!
16. There is now evidence that links Colony Collapse Disorder (aka the disappearance of the Honey Bees) to HFCS.  Apparently some irresponsible bee keepers decided it would be cheaper and easier to feed their bees HFCS ("BRILLIANT" I know!), especially in the winter months when the bee's natural foods are not readily available.  The problem arises with, Hydroxymethylfurfural (try to say that 3 times fast! I don't even know how to pronounce it 1 time fast.) which is a byproduct of the heating process of HFCS and apparently a toxin to bee's.
So not only is HFCS potentially making us sick, reducing our life expectancy and eventually killing us off but its now linked to the disappearance of the honey bee's.  At first this may seem insignificant, unless like me you love honey, BUT bee's do a lot more than just make honey.  It is the process in which they make the honey, collecting nectar and at the same time pollinating plants, that is their most important contribution.  With out honey bees (and other pollinating insects/birds) our plants cannot reproduce and die off.  No plants = no food for us.  It is not a good scenario at all!

I have always been a believer in the "Everything in moderation is fine" mantra.  This is 1 area where I am going to have to become really strict and throw that out the window. As far as I am concerned, there is no room for moderation with any sort of "food like substance" 

I already try to make sure that no products containing HFCS (or any other form listed above) ever enters our home or my children's mouths.  Sometimes I am hoodwinked, as in the case of the High Maltose Corn Syrup.  Then there are a few areas, like Ted's soda, where this is over looked but as I mentioned in my first Healthy Living Post even he is now on board with these ideals and ready to give up the Mt. Dew habit (or at least switch to the Mt. Dew throwback which is a step in the right direction).  Now we have to work on getting the kids on board with the "no more Happy Meals" rule.  We never consumed them a lot, literally once every 4 weeks  (as it was usually the second pay day of the month because the first was always rent and had very little left over).  They are not going to be happy with this as they really look forward to Happy Meal night.

In the words of the documentary Food Inc. "Every time you go to the grocery store you are casting a vote."  People often become overwhelmed at the fact that HFCS is in everything and they think there is nothing we can do about it.  That we are stuck consuming this food like substance in our foods.  In this case, however, change can be simple, you just have to be willing to make it.  You have to be willing to put in the effort to read labels and avoid buying anything that contains HFCS.  Imagine the change we could make if even 1/4 of us began to avoid this stuff.  Cast your vote today!  Do you vote for HFCS, Obesity, Diabetes, over all poor health and possibly even death or do you vote for REAL FOODS?!


I know this blog post is heavily laden with links but I encourage you to read them and educate yourself.  Ultimately it is your body and your choice.  I for one choose real foods!

Love,
Christy