Today you are 5!

Dear Teddy,

Today you are 5.... WOW! 

Mommy has been staring at that sentence for awhile now trying to come up with what to write and not loose it at the same time.

You are so big and such a handsome little boy, mommy is so proud of all that you do.  You are very smart, athletic, artistic, empathetic, funny, and loving with a smidge of your daddy's stubbornheaded strong willed temper thrown in too. -Obviously all of the good stuff is from mommy, I'm a "great" athlete don't you know!

I cannot believe it has been 5 years since I first held you.  Five years since you first opened your little eyes and peaked up at me as if to say "we can do this mom".  In an instant it was love at first sight!  Of course I loved you before you were even born but that love intensified 1000x the second you looked at me. 

The last 5 years have been the happiest and hardest of my life but I would never change even 1 second of it all!

You came to me as a little fiery ball full of energy and opinions from day one.  It was your way or the highway from birth.  I had no experience with baby's and you took my hand and showed me the way.  Everything I thought I knew went out the window once you were here.  You truly taught me how to be a mommy!

The first 12 months flew past in a whirlwind of late night slumber parties for just the two of us, marathon breastfeeding sessions, first baths, first foods, first toys, first snow.  Your first time sitting up, first time crawling, first time cruising and  first steps were all packed into the first 9 months, by 12 months you were running and climbing.  There were first words in there, counting 1-10, ABC's and  you even learned a song or two.....
1st Halloween, 1st Thanksgiving, 1st Christmas, 1st New Years, 1st Easter-WHOOSH!!

1st Halloween

1st Christmas

and then POOF...... You were 1!!

1st Birthday

Your babyhood was gone!  It went so fast!

I tried to pump the brakes, slow things down and savor each day with you but time is funny like that.  It seems to move so slow in the moment yet so fast in the big picture.

Months 12-24 you showed Mommy and Daddy just how smart you truly were!  Your vocabulary exploded and you learned multiple new words each day.  You could speak in complete sentences before you were 2! In that year there were more songs to be sung, more counting to be done, and colors to learn too.  You even memorized a few books. "Brown Bear, Brown Bear" anyone? 
You loved your books, you treated them like your best friends, at any given moment of the day you were sure to have a book in your hands or close by.  We spent many hours curled up together you and I, just reading away.  Mommy's lap was your favorite place to be.
I tried to hold on tight, to keep it all from passing too fast.....

2nd Halloween

and then POOF..... You were 2!!

2nd Birthday

Time just kept picking up speed, we welcomed your baby sister into our family and you showed just how loving you could be with her.  You were the greatest big brother I have ever seen.  Sure you had your moments of jealousy but you were always quick to protect her if anyone even looked at her wrong. 
You accomplished many big boy milestones including potty training and learning to ride your bike (with training wheels of course!).
You discovered your love for art and would draw the most beautiful pictures.
You even caught your first fish!

1st time fishing

loving, caring big brother

and then POOF..... You were 3!!

3rd Birthday

No longer a toddler, now you were a preschooler.

With 3 came even more big boy challenges, going to preschool for the first time and to Primary on your own at church.  You even learned to sleep in your very own big boy bed.  Everyday I watched you grow and I watched your personality emerge.  I loved the little boy you were becoming but missed my chubby little baby so.
We welcomed a new baby into the family and you were so happy.  You love babies.  You loved to hold her, kiss her, and even feed her a bottle on occasion.
We played outside a lot, bubbles and sticks and side walk chalk OH MY!

hitting a ball

1st Day of Preschool

and then POOF.... You were 4

4th BDay

The last year of your preschooler days.  You started your 2nd year of preschool where you learned to write your letters and your name.  Your art interest and talents exploded and your true empathetic nature shined through. 
We welcomed a 3rd baby girl into our lives and while you love her immensely you were very disappointed that she was not a boy.  You want a baby brother so bad and ask almost daily when he will come. 
With 4 came even more opinions and independence.  You are Mr. I Can Do It Myself these days.  You have an opinion on what clothes to wear and dress yourself quite often.  Mommy loves to see your creativity shine through in the outfits you choose.  They seldom match but they are always so creative.
Mommy willed the time to slow down but it didn't work, the days kept ticking by until....

POOF, TODAY YOU ARE 5!!

In a few months you will start Kindergarten, then you will be away from mommy for a good portion of each day.  I am not so sure mommy is ready for that!  I will miss you so much!

With 5 you are no longer a preschooler.  First you were not a baby, then no longer a toddler and now not even a preschooler.  Today you are mommy's little man! 

You will always be my Little Man too, even when you are Daddy's age I will still consider you my baby boy.  You get so mad at me when I use the words "little" and "baby" to describe you, chastising me that you are a big boy now.  I know you are a big boy, but I will always see you as my baby.  Mommy's are allowed this!

When I look into your eyes I can still remember, clear as day, the second our eyes locked 5 years ago.  In that instant I became a mom and I knew I would do anything up to and including laying down my life in order to protect you.

You are my 5 year old big boy now.  I will always and forever keep willing the time to slow down but I have learned it all goes by way too fast.

I am excited for what the next year will bring to us!  We will continue on the journey together you and I.  I will watch you grow each year and celebrate with you all of your accomplishments but I will also silently mourn the baby/toddler/preschooler/little boy that you were.

Five years, ten, twenty, they will fly by all too quickly.  Some day you will be a man and move away, start your own family and then you will understand what it means to love someone as deeply as I love you.



Love,
your Mommy!